The following is a work of fiction. It is a fantasy of how I would like one lovely night in Hedonism to occur, assuming Mrs. AP and I could ever get there with the two boyfriends with whom we got along best. It contains graphic details of consensual congress between three bisexual men and one woman between in a public setting. If that suits your fancy, please come join the ride.
I wish I could be bringing you a sexy update, SINful friends. I know, we’re three posts into the new year and I’ve not given details on any mind blowing orgasms, incredible blowjobs, or delicious squirtings. It’s hard, you see, to have such wonderful times when there’s a three year old sleeping in your bed. Although things can get amusing when she decides to wake up after sleeping in her “big girl bed” on the floor next to yours.
It was a rare night in the AbsinthePassion household; all the children were in bed and asleep before Mrs. AP and I. Considering all three of them fluctuate between day dwellers and vampires, we were exhaustedly excited to be able to get some sleep. We were also excited to be able to celebrate my birthday right as it started, shortly after midnight.
After securing the little one in her own bed elsewhere in our room, Mrs. AP and I took our nightly “help us stay asleep” meds that alleviate pain and introduce a nice lovely floaty feeling as we drift off. We have discovered a delicious other side effect of the meds is that they help us relax into and enjoy sexual matters more deeply, which I greatly appreciated when Mrs. AP reached over and started teasing her fingers up and down my chest and sides. I wiggled and giggled and moaned lightly under the masterful touch of her divine ministrations — she always knows how to hit all the right spots to render me helpless to her spell. Her touch became more focused, more insistent, and the moans grew stronger in reflection. Fingered dipped below my waist and teased hips, stroking across a pubic mound and sliding in that open space between abdomen and throbbing manhood. A light gasp of anticipation escaped my lips, which Mrs. AP notably pondered before rotating her wrist and wrapping her hand gently around my throbbing, dripping cock.
For roughly the last six hours today, while struggling through work, I have found myself craving the taste of Mrs. AP under my tongue. I love trailing my lips across her skin, exploring her lips and her neck, meandering down to her luscious breasts and erect nipples, The feeling of her nipples hardening, puckering, rising underneath my tongue and against my lips is one of the divine pleasures of being able to explore the fantastic curves of my wife’s body. Right now, though, in particular, I yearn for something very specific.
I long for running my tongue and trailing my lips down from the soft, pouty lips of Mrs. AP, caressing down her delectable neck, and into the glorious cleft of her cleavage. Downward still, strolling my tongue across the beauty of her stomach and teasing over the rise and fall of her sensuous mons pubis before spiraling slowly inward and down until my lips and tongue nestle into the perfect placement between her long, lean legs.
Oh, but to dip my tongue between her lips and gently coax them wide. Her heat, her scent, dancing across my taste buds to encourage deeper, more forceful explorations. Flattening my tongue, pressing, entering, to be greeted by the sweet taste of my beloved’s arousal. Sweet!, but not in a honey way, or even vanilla and strawberry, like most people like to use for descriptors of sexual juices. She’s more primal and raw, like what would happen if the forest and panthers and hibiscus and orchid and pomegranate and the nectar from lilies could all be blended together and then coaxed forth from within her. This! This is for what I long, and crave, and cannot shake from my mind for hours upon end today!
Oh, but I shall be home soon, and then, for all that is good and naked and wonderful in this world, will I close and lock my door, and strip my gorgeous wife bare, and explore her every twitch and tremble with my tongue until her sweet, subtle nectar becomes a flood upon my tongue and across my cheeks, and she gasps my name and grips the sheets and loses herself into the bliss of erotic release, and then! Oh, but then I will still be thirsty, and will have to drink of her some more until her crescendo repeats, again and again, until she can bear no more and must both push me away and pull me upward so that more than my tongue will slide between that velvety lips.
Soon. Soon. For my daydreams are vivid, and my need is pressing, and the memory of the taste of my wife is … sweet.
Stay SINful, friends.
Tonight is my thirteenth night away from home, which also makes it my thirteenth night away from Mrs. AP. Except for that one bad stint in the hospital last year, this is the longest she and I have been unable to sleep beside each other since February, 2010. When I left for this current business trip we thought I would only be gone nine nights. Obviously that has changed. Delays for the job led to delays coming home. There’s been naught I can do about that, no matter how lonely the bed feels when I’m the only occupant.
The night before I left was also the end of our first full day home after evacuating from Hurricane Matthew — we live on the coast now, which made us a rather high target zone — and we’d had no time or privacy in which to engage in any amorous bonding while we were dodging the storm. The friends who took us in are wonderful, but we couldn’t exactly ask them if we could borrow their room and their bed for some spousal alone time. Etiquette is a real party spoiler sometimes. But hey, no damage to the house, and we saw good friends we’d missed, so I guess that’s the silver lining there, right?
Regardless, knowing I was going to be leaving and knowing we hadn’t been able to play when we’d wanted to for far too many days, even while exhausted, while Mrs. AP and I were cuddling very late into the night, and once I heard our youngest finally settle down for the night I, started caressing Mrs. AP’s delectable body in that way that very clearly broadcasts that I’d like to do more than caress.
I teased her breasts and her nipples, letting the edges of my palms just brush the edges of her areolas, and our mouths explored each other. Her tongue darted against my lips, seeking, imploring entrance, which was granted eagerly. As our tongues danced to the rhythm of our needs my hands grew more insistent, cupping her nipples and her breasts and squeezing. Gently at first, and then more firmly, my hand pulsed in time with our lips and tongues. My efforts were rewarded with her luscious nipples hardening under my ministrations, becoming firm and puckered in that way that begs for attention. With a gentle squeeze I obliged, but only momentarily before sliding my hand down her silky smooth skin and across the valley of her pubic mound before dipping between the folds of her perfection. As my middle finger slipped between her lips, it was greeted with a warm, wet welcome. The body of my wife, my lover, my beloved was entreating me to enter her. How could I decline such an enthusiastic invitation?
Time for another edition of T.M.I. Tuesday! Click below to see how well I performed!
Time for another edition of T.M.I. Tuesday! Jump below to see how well I performed this week.
I came home from work with one of the most debilitating migraines I’ve had in ages. I fought through traffic and held it at bay, but by the time I walked up the stairs and through the front door Mrs. AP was able take one look at me and firmly say “I love you, go lay down in the dark.” Knowing better than to ever argue with her when she uses her Domme voice, I kissed her and made my room to comply. As I lay there trying to hide all light and sound from obliterating me into millions of pieces Mrs. AP came in and softly asked how I could help. My whimpers must have translated into something because she left the room to come back a few minutes later with Excedrin and a cold coffee blend of the various pre-made flavored coffees we keep in the fridge. She disappeared again, leaving me in silence.
On her next return she came bearing food; perfect wife that she is, she made dinner and handled the kids while I lay in the room trying not to feel like death had become me. Dutifully I ate, thankful for the mix of spices and savory elements she combined to hit every flavor element I so love. Once I finished eating I lay the plate back down and rested, eyes closed, hoping for relief.
When Mrs. AP came back in she asked if there was anything else she could do to help. I whimpered some more, to which she responded by laying next to me and cradling me, caressing my head and letting her hand wander further down my body. As she slipped a hand inside my pants she asked if there was *anything* she could do to help, and my cock rose in response. Feeling how eager my cock was to greet her Mrs. AP whispered mischievously “feels like I know just the thing.” She got up to lock the door, stripping as she rose, and in my pained stupor I somehow managed to strip so that by the time she turned around I was ready, waiting for her.
Red spent the weekend over for his Birthday, and he’d been joking since the week prior that one of the things he wanted for his birthday was another threesome with Mrs. AP and me — it had been some time since our last one — and as the week went by my mind kept turning more and more to both how much I love watching Mrs. AP when we have another man in our bed and also how much I miss sliding my lips down a nice hard cock and how Red has repeatedly said he needs to be “not so sober” for that to happen.
Lo and behold, during dinner Red availed himself of some recently acquired Sake to become very quickly inebriated. Aloud, my jokes and innuendos about him joining us became more obvious (to me, at least) while internally I started wondering how he’d taste, if he’d rise to the occasion, etc.. After all, I know I can be persuasive once my lips are on somebody, but I’d need his full consent for that and even drunk he might not grant that. Still, I wondered, and open flirted, and hinted, and only kept some outright comments to myself because the children were still awake and there are some invitations they just don’t need to hear. We carried on for roughly 30 minutes with our back and forth bantering and flirting until suddenly!… Red declared himself drunkenly exhausted and stumbled off to bed to sleep for 8 hours.
As I later told Mrs. AP while we were lying in bed, I was a little butt-hurt, but it was of my own making. I’d not been clear enough in my invitation, and expecting somebody else to properly interpret flirting and innuendo — particularly in an inebriated state — is unfair. It’s also not like I’ve forever ruined our chances of having another man, or specifically Red, join us in bed; he’s over all the time, plus we’re more actively looking for another lover. Just because I wasn’t able to satisfy my threesome craving right then and there doesn’t mean I won’t be able to scratch that itch later. Until then, there are plenty of other ways to meet needs, and Mrs. AP and I had some other needs that were needing met. Our talk faded into soft kisses, which slowly grew more bold and intense until our lips risked bruising from our passion. We shifted, one our sides and pressed together, so that my hand could slide down between Mrs. AP’s open legs, where I found her freshly shaven, hot, wet, and ready for me.
SINful friends, did I mention I plan on being more active here? I didn’t? Here I am! It’s T.M.I. Tuesday Time! Click below to see how well I play along this week!
Oh goodness, the annual “things I want to accomplish” lists that start filling every inch of visible screen space in social media circles this time of year seems endless and almost like a wasted exercise at times, yes? However, to better remind myself and to hold myself accountable, here’s some things I’d like to see happen this year.
1) Mrs. AP and I have sex more often. Between my health issues, her giving birth, and all the stress last year our frequency slipped. It’s time to reconnect, intimately as well as physically.
2) Have more threesomes with Bi Men. We only had one threesome last year, and that didn’t even see any guy-on-guy action.
3) Suck a cock until I’m swallowing his cum. We had a string of bad luck there, where our partners couldn’t pop from oral. I want to fix that. I’ve not fully tasted another guy since 2009, back before I met Mrs. AP. I want her to watch me drain a guy dry and then revive him so she can mount him.
4) Bring some more adventure back into our play. The kink left alongside the regular intervals. I want to buy several Liberator Fascinator Throes so that I can get Mrs. AP squirting everywhere without risking our mattress. I want her to buy those strapons she’s been eyeing so she can peg me more frequently. It’s tricky, what with Baby Girl’s crib in our room, but if we work at it I believe we can get the non-vanilla flavors back into our sexual recipes.
5) Write here more often. I was awarded well for my efforts after I launched this space nearly 3 years ago, but multiple setbacks knocked me right out of the writing spirit and it’s taken quite some time for me to find the time and confidence again. I may not ever make the “best of” lists put out by the likes of Rori or Modesty again but I’m okay with that. This is my release, my space to which I come for all manner of things related to love and sex. The recognition is admittedly thrilling but ultimately this writing is about me. I’d forgotten that for a long time. No more.
Stay SINful, friends.
The other night Mrs. AP and I were having a conversation about all the things I’ve unknowingly been repressing over this past year. To recap, this year saw Mrs. AP and I becoming legally wed, us having a daughter together, moving halfway across the state, and me narrowly dodging death by unexplainable medical means (statistically, at least). To say the least, taking care of my kinkier needs has not been one of the higher priorities, to the point where I’d been suppressing them nearly completely. Until recently.
As suppression often does to wants, needs, and kinks, I’ve been finding myself day/dreaming more often about adding somebody else to the bedroom with Mrs. AP and me. Always male. Always well endowed. Always interested in playing with us equally. Thoughts of group play and all the delicious positions in which we could engage have been growing more prevalent. I realized I craze the group aspect that we’ve not really had this year (except that one time).
As Mrs. AP and I were discussing this, I asked her if she was really okay with having a husband who craves sucking cock and watching her get fucked. Her response was “I wouldn’t have married a Bisexual man if I didn’t want the boy-on-boy love and the threesomes that come with it.” Right there, Mrs. AP reassured me that I’m not only normal but also perfectly placed with her, and that there’s none better for me. The heart swelling was nigh enough to make me burst. Luckily, all the talk of the things we could do with another male companion had me fully at the ready, so part of me was equipped TO burst.
As I rolled on top of Mrs. AP and began to slide inside her I found her already dripping. I asked if the thought of another guy joining us again got her excited; she bit her lip and nodded. I asked her is she wanted to watch him fuck my tight ass while my cock was buried inside her; she moaned and had a small orgasm. I asked if she wanted to watch his face as he came inside me, his orgasm triggering mine; she came hard, biting her lip and gripping the sheets and mattress hard. She then turned the tables, asking me if I wanted him to kneel at my head (presumably clean) so that she and I could suck him together. I nodded. She asked if I wanted him to fuck my mouth while I fucked her. I moaned and nodded again. She asked me if I wanted to make him cum down my throat.
I exploded inside her, overcome with the most intense orgasm I’ve had in months.
Clearly I’ve been suppressing a good bit. It was fantastic to get it out there, and to share it with my wonderful wife.
Now we just need somebody else with whom we can share …
Stay SINful, friends.
We were snuggling in bed, Mrs. AP and I. Her hand was lazily teasing my thighs and cock, brushing and stroking without any real intent. As we kissed and snuggled, her caresses got the better of me, and soon my cock was a raging hardon monster desperately needing something to destroy. Our only problem was that we’re still in the “no intercourse allowed” stage of the post-delivery period. Lucky for me, my wife is understanding of such things and loves to please me.
Her hand gripped my cock firmly, sliding the skin up and down over the edge of the flare of my head. She milked me slowly, bringing forth multiple gushes of pre-cum until my head and her hand were coated. Giggling just a little, she switched her technique to stroking the full length of my throbbing cock, adding just a tiny flick of her wrist every time she stroked back up against the head. In very short order my hips were bucking and my breath was coming in small gasps as she brought me right to the edge.
And held me there.
Last week I finally got a chance to fulfill one of my fantasies, thanks to a great deal of understanding and assistance from Mrs. AP and a timely visit to our house by Red. You might remember Red. He was the featured guest in An Unexpected Threesome last year. He’s also properly medicated now, which makes him a great deal of fun to be around. He’s jovial, witty, a bit raunchy, and overall a much better version of himself. It’s refreshing to see him like this. Compare to the four years I knew him while he had no access to the proper medication, the difference is incredible. It makes me like him far more than I expected I could when we first met. He’s told me the feeling is mutual. We’re cool.
Moving on. While Red was staying the night, getting away from pressure of work and family and generally needing to decompress, he retired to his usual spot when he stays over; on our bed. You see, our place is small, and the best place to gather to watch TV together is the bedroom, so on the bed he flops. Also, he’s family. It works. And while on the bed, once the kids were all tucked away for the night, he made himself more comfortable by stripping. Not much had to come off, mind you; he was in his boxer briefs prior to that point, but he finds them confining. I understand. Boy bits need room to breathe, after all.
After he was naked for a bit, I joined him in the land of nudity and removed by jeans and underwear. This left only Mrs. AP wearing anything, nestled between us in her tee shirt and underwear. I curled up on my side and nestled against her, caressing her legs and rubbing her arms, all the while glancing at Red fully on display and ever so slightly plump in the warmth of the room. My thoughts started racing, imagining the possibilities now that there were two naked men on the bed sandwiching a mostly naked Mrs. AP. To no surprise to me — or really to Mrs. AP, for that matter — I was soon rock hard and pressed against her leg, which soon led to me dripping down her leg as a gentle river of precum began to meander about. She noticed this, repeatedly, and alternated between pretending to be shocked and being deliciously amused. This went on for ten to fifteen minutes, before Mrs. AP pretended to need to stretch and leaned forward on the bed, arching her back and rocking up on her knees. In this position Red and I had a fantastic view of Mrs. AP’s barely covered ass and pussy, and we both wasted no time in caressing every inch of her we could reach before I hooked a finger into her skimpy underwear and pulled it to the side to reveal her plump, sweet lips. Red and I both reached for her, his fingers against mine, as we teased Mrs. AP’s lips and gently slid just inside her. As she moaned, I slid one finger down to tease her clit while Red pushed a finger farther inside her, filling her slowly. Mrs. AP rocked her hips back against us, before leaning back — pulling both our hands away in the process — and teasingly mentioning that she hadn’t issued an invitation. We all laughed, and Red quipped “Fine, can we get you naked and play with you?” Mrs. AP looked at me questioningly. In response, I pressed my throbbing, hard cock against her leg and nodded. Just like that, off came her shirt and thong.
The other night Mrs. AP and I celebrated my birthday in spectacular fashion. Those of you out in Twitter land already heard about some of it, but for the rest of you, here’s a run down (or a marathon down?) of what happened:
Mrs. AP is always very eager to please me anytime something worth celebrating rolls around. Okay, she’s very eager to please me all the time, as am I with her, so really there’s nothing terribly new in that aspect, but birthdays in particular are extra special. Anything goes for birthdays, and this night was no exception. We started the night just holding each other and talking, all distractions like TV and phones put away and turned off. We’d not well and truly talked about how we’re doing, what we want, and how to approach those things in quite some time. The best part of our relationship is how well we communicate when we both relax and share ourselves with each other, and while we’d never lost that ability we’d been focusing on so many other things this past year that we’d let slip some of that bonding time we need.
As our talking became more pervy and kinky the conversation delved into group sex and bi-boi play and how well some of our past lovers worked with us then and could again in the future. Talking of our past lovers always gets me excited, as scenes from our adventures play out on the film screen in my mind; images of Mrs. AP sliding down the largest cock I’ve ever seen in person while I hold it in place; images of her mouth sucking on a cock so intensely that she doesn’t get any warning before it explodes in her mouth; images of her on her back being roughly fucked while my cock muffles her deep moans. I can’t help but get hard at the thought of what we’ve done and what we might do again. Mrs. AP takes great delight in this and is sure to stroke and tease my cock until the pre-cum has formed puddles on my stomach. Talk soon turned to things we’ve not yet done, in which mention of DP and DVP came up. As we were discussing the pros and cons of the lovely cocks with which these things might happen vis a vis who could actually fit in which locations, one of us made mention of having one of those lovely cocks slide inside my tight ass.
The subject had been breached, and I was feeling relaxed, confident, and aroused enough to agree, or perhaps even insist, on us breaking out the toy box and seeing just how well our collection of toys could fit inside me. After all, if I couldn’t handle being filled by imitation cock there wasn’t much likelihood of me handling a real one, and it had been quite some time since Mrs. AP had flogged me and fucked me. In a flash Mrs. AP was off to the shower — I’d showered earlier in the evening — while I prepared the room. Top sheet and comforter were moved to the end of the bed and tucked neatly into quick-pull piles in case we got cold. Pillows were arranged at the top of the bed for maximum comfort and bed space. Candles were lit. Towels were laid down. Toy box, cleaner, gloves, condoms, and baby wipes were laid out for easy access.
Mrs. AP came back into the room to find me laying naked on the bed, my cock hard and throbbing for her. Not for her and one of our lovers. Not for her and Red and Red’s new girlfriend who were sleeping in the other room. All for her and for the deliciously deep dicking she was going to give me. She put her hair up and settled down between my legs, leaning forward to give my pulsing cock a long lick and a slow suck on the head before pulling her head up slowly until I audibly popped out of her mouth. She asked me which toys I wanted, and with a quick review session of our options I chose all the “life like” toy cocks we have, all of which happen to be Vac-U-Lock compatible. Toys selected, Mrs. AP slid a glove on her left hand cleaned all the toys with the spray toy cleaner we use. Those matters settled, she wiped her gloved hand dry of the cleaner and then lubed it up, and with her right hand wrapped around my cock she began teasing my ass with her finger. Just a gentle tease at first, circling the edge of my tight little rosebud before rubbing across it lightly. Slowly she added more pressure as the tease became a massage. As I relaxed into it and felt the pressure grow from pressing to encouraging my backdoor slowly opened and invited her finger in. As she passed through the first ring of muscle I gasped. As she passed through the second ring of muscle I groaned. Oh, how I’d forgotten how much I enjoyed this. My ass was ripe for the taking, and Mrs. AP was ready to take.
“He says when you come home to make sure you have your big-boy pants on.”
These words Mrs. AP typed to me while she and our former roommate (Red) were having a long heart to heart in our room while I was at work. I knew he’d been struggling with some mental demons as of late, and we were all still adjusting to his semi-regular returns to the house to see the kids. He’s a good guy, but his temperament doesn’t always mesh well with mine, and he tends to get assumptive about what he can and cannot do in the house in regards to personal space. Well, that and at times it seems he’s forgotten than he and Mrs. AP haven’t been romantically or sexually involves in years, and that he has the right to have his way with her whenever the mood so strikes him. Yes, it’s bothered me off and on for years. As a matter of respect, it struck me that he had none for us. With all of that in mind, I had to struggle through the final hour of work and the drive home through rush hour traffic not knowing exactly how this conversation was going to meander. My anxiety level was high, despite all my attempts to calm myself on the drive home. (To wit, meditation has limited effectiveness on crowded highways.)
Once I was home and changed, Red asked that I just sit and listen. He’d been working with Mrs. AP all day on realizing exactly what he wants and how to go about achieving it. I listened, holding Mrs. AP’s hand, as Red explained that he still loved Mrs. AP, that he was unhappy with everybody else he’d tried to date in the past several years, and that what he ultimately wanted was to get some of his mood imbalances controlled, get us trusting him again, and for us to help him find a woman that all of us could get along with both in and out of the bedroom so that Red and New Girl could be Primaries while Mrs. AP and I remained Primaries, but all while having a larger shared Quad experience wth hopefully some play between Mrs. AP and New Girl. Whomever she may be.
Okay, I was a little disappointed that everybody got their kinks fulfilled in that scenario except me and my love of men, but Red followed that up with saying “Of course, you two could still find your pretty Bi guys on the side to play with, and if he was a good fit for all of us he could join the group sometimes too.” I was surprised. Red isn’t Bi, nor is he homophobic — in fact, he and Mrs. AP were a semi-regular Vee with much group sex involved with Mrs. AP’s ex-husband — but hearing him give voice to my concerns about my love of a hard cock in my mouth before I’d had a chance to respond made me look at him in a more positive light. Here he was, pouring out his heart and soul searching and expressing his desire for how things would ideally work out, and he still had time to take stock of how I might react and address that. It was endearing.
As the evening rolled on, the three of us discussed some of the issues and concerns we’d all had with each other while living together and the changes we all wanted to see in behavior. Red promised to be more thoughtful and considerate of Mrs. AP and I and the relationship we have. We promised to be more thoughtful and considerate of his feelings and inner demons. After this and making sure all the kids were put to bed we were lounging about, talking about whatever topics of conversation passed in and out of our heads, when suddenly Mrs. AP leaned over, shoved my shorts and underwear to my knees, and swallowed my cock.
May your Valentine’s Day be filled with love, lust, kink, and all things related to delicious debauchery. Oh yes, and play safely.
Stay SINful, friends
We were alone in our hotel room. No children, roommates, or pets around to cause distractions. We had the “Rock Star Suite”, which wasn’t so much a suite as it was a standard room, but it was a room without a window, which meant we didn’t even have a view of the city to distract us. We had little or as much light as we wanted. Most importantly, we had each other. In our brief freedom from the rest of the world, we were going to do some exploring of one another, and in the process of doing so would hope to add a new staple item to our sexual repertoire.
We started with watching a video Mrs. AP had found that went over some of the more technical details. I paid close attention, mildly turned on and responding by rising some to the occasion, but more caught in absorbing most of the presented knowledge as possible. This was important, and a big step if we could achieve our goal. As such, I wanted to do my best, not only for her pleasure but also for my pride.
Video complete, we moved her laptop over to the nightstand. Mrs. AP lay back, her nude body almost glowing in the soft light. Her large, firm breasts rose and fell with each breath as she looked at me expectantly. My hands trailed up her body, caressing her long legs, teasing her thighs, tracing up her stomach, and finally cupping her breasts. I pinched her nipples, rolling them between my forceful fingers. I squeezed her breasts, massaging them as I kept a tight grip on her hardening nipples. Leaning forward I captured her mouth with mine and poured every ounce of passion I had within me into claiming her lips, her tongue, her breath as mine. We melted into each other as I slid my right hand down her body, slowly, fingers gliding over every available inch. My hand reached the top of her mound, where I could feel the heat rising from her. Further down, fingertips brushing against her clit and down, down, until my hand cupped her pussy. Slowly my finger slid inside her lips, feeling her open and yearning for me, hot and wet and waiting.
Pardon the alliteration, friends, but I’m feeling whimsical. You’ll forgive me, yes?
I stumbled this morning on an excellent piece hosted on the Huffington Post titled “For Bi Guys Thinking of Coming Out” by author Patrick RichardsFink. If you have not already, please go read the piece. Regardless of your gender or sexual identity there are some incredible insights found within the piece, particularly in dealing with the preconceptions most people still carry about sexuality and gender identity being based within the binary normative structure of gay/straight, male/female.
As I have mentioned repeatedly in my writings, I knew comparatively early in my life that I am Bi Male. Additionally, I came to realize later in life that I am also a Queer Male. In my further explorations into the roles of gender and sexual identity as parcel to development and establishing meaningful interpersonal relationships, I have had to undo the same kind of binary thinking still prevalent in modern Western society. Sexuality and Gender are not necessarily static, but may instead exist on a dynamic continuum. It is with this greater understanding, both externally and internally of the fluidity of self-expression, that led me to the belief that Bi-Curiosity is a misnomer, a stumbling block upon the path to actualization. The conversation is not as simple as there being two sides to a coin, but is instead as multifaceted as a Princess-cut diamond. This complexity requires adopting not only a new approach to coming out but also a new mindset to those still within the binary-normative structure.
Along with the historic votes on Marriage Equality in four states in the United States in November, 2012 also came two historic decriminalization measures passed in the stats of Colorado and Washington. With the passing of these measures there now exists the regulated control of previously illegal substances — specifically marijuana, which is still illegal at the federal level — with which consenting adults can choose to alter their mental states. Until a recent bout of agony did I begin to understand the appeal.
Dating is a confusing enough subject between only 2 people these days. If it wasn’t, there wouldn’t be things like college lectures on how hook-up culture is killing dating. Run a Google Search for Modern Dating, and the top results include multiple posts via the Huffington Post and a (self serving?) post on Match.com. Nearly every magazine available in the checkout line at the larger grocery stores include articles on how to date, how to look best for the first date, how to behave on the first date, how to hold attention after the first date, etc. Constantly there is this bombardment on how and why and when and who to date. The endless barrage of information is maddening.
This is made even more difficult trying to be a Poly couple in search of the elusive Single Bi Male. Mrs. AP and I have been looking, either actively or passively, for the better part of 18 months now. We’ve been more dedicated at some times than others, of course. Our search is, however, hindered by the fact that we can’t simply follow the traditional in-person routine that two single people can. Bars are, essentially, out, which is fine as we don’t really frequent them anyway. We could theoretically meet somebody out at the club, or even at a restaurant or diner or store, but having to explain Poly to somebody who’s never heard of it — in person — leads to more ludicrous looks than is often worth them time. Thus, relying on various online social and dating sites is the fallback on which we need rely.
We’ve had some luck through them. We met Our Crush online first, and have since arranged all three of our dates that way. So far it seems to be working. It is also mildly exhausting. Mrs. AP put it best the other night when she asked if we can just move beyond the dating stage to the relationship stage. She’s right, of course, in that knowing how to act and react inside an established relationship is easier when one (or two) has been out of The Dating Game for as long as we have. Traditional timing and molds don’t seem to carry over in a one to one ratio. Pace, expectation, and the timeline of the relationship all seem to get thrown into a state of turmoil. Lily Lloyd of theblackletherbelt.com calls it The Relationship Escalator. To quote her:
The escalator looks something like this:
> Dating > Sex > Moving In Together > Getting Married > Getting a Mortgage > Having Kids
This progression doesn’t work — may not even be possible to work — when it comes to Mrs. AP and I looking for a potential long-term member of what may very well become a Poly Triad. Restrictions are in place in many ways. Legally, at least within the United States, we may never be able to progress as a Triad from the “Moving in Together” stage to the “Getting Married” stage. The legal standings for such a Marriage are, at best, tenuous. That doesn’t necessarily prevent skipping that stage to the “Getting a Mortgage” part, but in this economy that’s more a pipe dream than anything else. As for kids, Mrs. AP and I already have several children between us in addition to our devastating miscarriage together just a few months ago. We’re not getting any younger, either; the likelihood of complications arising are a notable, worrisome prospect. What, then, is a Poly couple who’s met a wonderfully compatible third person to do?
In the past two weeks Mrs. AP and I have had two dates with Our Crush. In both cases what started out as short dates evolved into very long amounts of time spent over at his place, with a great deal of making out involved. The first date, in fact, lasted ten hours, the last two to three hours of which were spent with a great deal of kissing and neck nibbling and running fingernails up and down various body parts… all without any clothing being removed. The second date at his house did lead to all clothing on all parties eventually coming off, but only after yet another long period of making out and teasing and foreplay.
Mrs. AP and I have our fair share of threesomes with another man under our collective belt, considering our long-held Triad with her soon-to-be-ex-husband and our dalliances with both Our Well Hung Lover and a long standing friend of hers, but never before have either of us — nor Our Crush, if I guess correctly — been involved in a scenario where there was truly equal attention and desire among all three people. Each of us wanted, desired, and gave attention to the other two freely and equally without need of conscious thought toward the matter. It was more a matter of each of us not being able to get enough of the other two than any one of us feeling pressured to give attention to one of the other people. We were the closest to a true Triad I’ve ever experienced, with lines of energy connected each of the three pairs of us — him and her; her and me; him and me — along with a continuous loop connecting us all that was exhilarating and powerful. I wrote once of wanting the kind of Triad where each of us makes the other two stronger; I got a taste of what that can be like as we all rolled around in bed together.
I’m trying something new this week. There’s something started bumbling around in my brain and I’m going to see how well it looks once it comes out. For the first time ever, may I present a bit of erotic fiction: