An Absinthe-Loving, Polyamorous, Kinky, Sex-Positive Couple talk about all things Sex, Kink, and LGBTQ.

Posts tagged “Relationships

Getting to Know Yourself

Demisexual.

It’s a fun word.  Until recently I’d not heard of it, but it started coming up in some reading Mrs. AP and I had been doing, and we being the ever curious types, we looked it up.  According to the Demisexual Resource Center, demisexuality is defined as

a sexual orientation in which someone feels sexual attraction only to people with whom they have an emotional bond. Most demisexuals feel sexual attraction rarely compared to the general population, and some have little to no interest in sexual activity.

As you well know if you’ve read any of the tales of the sexual exploits and explorations in which Mrs. AP and I have endeavored together, the latter half of that definiion — “some have little to no interest in sexual activity” — is not applicable to Mrs. AP or myself.  We are delightfully sexually vibrant (well, not always, but we all have our down times, don’t we?)  However, when Mrs. AP read the first part of that definition she had to stop reading and collect herself.  In stunned meditation she processed what she had read, then read it again carefully to confirm she’d not missed anything, before quietly saying “… that’s me!”

I believe this revelation helps us refocus on who we are as individuals and as a couple, and how to tie that in with my previous post — because we’ve had no luck so far finding a wonderful man for us to date. It also means there’s some reorganizing with our online profiles.
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Hope of Things to Come

Oh goodness, the annual “things I want to accomplish” lists that start filling every inch of visible screen space in social media circles this time of year seems endless and almost like a wasted exercise at times, yes?  However, to better remind myself and to hold myself accountable, here’s some things I’d like to see happen this year.

1) Mrs. AP and I have sex more often.  Between my health issues, her giving birth, and all the stress last year our frequency slipped.  It’s time to reconnect, intimately as well as physically.

2) Have more threesomes with Bi Men.  We only had one threesome last year, and that didn’t even see any guy-on-guy action.

3) Suck a cock until I’m swallowing his cum.  We had a string of bad luck there, where our partners couldn’t pop from oral.  I want to fix that.  I’ve not fully tasted another guy since 2009, back before I met Mrs. AP.  I want her to watch me drain a guy dry and then revive him so she can mount him.

4) Bring some more adventure back into our play.  The kink left alongside the regular intervals.  I want to buy several Liberator Fascinator Throes so that I can get Mrs. AP squirting everywhere without risking our mattress.  I want her to buy those strapons she’s been eyeing so she can peg me more frequently.  It’s tricky, what with Baby Girl’s crib in our room, but if we work at it I believe we can get the non-vanilla flavors back into our sexual recipes.

5) Write here more often.  I was awarded well for my efforts after I launched this space nearly 3 years ago, but multiple setbacks knocked me right out of the writing spirit and it’s taken quite some time for me to find the time and confidence again.  I may not ever make the “best of” lists put out by the likes of Rori or Modesty again but I’m okay with that.  This is my release, my space to which I come for all manner of things related to love and sex.  The recognition is admittedly thrilling but ultimately this writing is about me.  I’d forgotten that for a long time.  No more.

Stay SINful, friends.


Getting Back to the Swing of Things

As my most recent post details, I’ve had some health issues of late that have compounded or correlated with a lackluster libido.  Thankfully both the health and the libido issues are being resolved — I’ve been off antibiotics for nearly 48 hours and am starting to feel a slight increase in my energy levels — and I can get back to my sexy self.

But what is my sexy self?

As a former athlete who now resides in a non-athletic body, I often times find myself fighting the disconnect between the way I perceived myself as sexy when I had nary an ounce of body fat and had stamina for hours of continuous rigorous exercise versus the current state, where my midsection is protruding more than I’d like and I can’t even walk 5 flights of stairs without getting winded.  My body and my mind are not in agreement over my current state at all, which often leads to silly things like me thinking I really can run after the kids at the park without killing myself.

This past month, in which I’ve stayed in two different hospitals, has led me to resolve to change my lifestyle, which in turn will (I hope) lead me back into My Lifestyles.

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Playing: Couple or Solo

Mrs. AP and I had a night out Friday night with SCS and her boyfriend.  Well, I should rephrase: half the night was SCS and several of her other friends, the other half of the night SCS’ boyfriend joined us.  He was busy for the first half of the night with an income-producing venture, yet he’s currently without clearance to drive, so SCS provides him transportation whenever such opportunities present themselves.

Mrs. AP and I were both feeling better than we had previously in the month, mostly thanks to rest over the previous few days and a healthy dose of drugs designed to let us behave as normal human beings again.  While we’re both rather traditionalist and wary of what substances we ingest, thank goodness for modern medicine!

Over the course of the many discussions held over the evening, one theme became apparent; SCS and her boyfriend quite often live very separate lives.  Granted, they’ve only been living together a short while, but it struck Mrs. AP and I as being a bit odd that a committed couple would be relatively heavily involved in having social lives that often do not involve one’s partner.  Mrs. AP and I simply do not operate that way.

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On Moving Forward

The past few weeks have been the most interesting — and by interesting I mean alternating between frustrating and exhilarating — time for Mrs. AP and I.   When last we spoke, Mrs. AP and I were both feeling rather rejuvenated following a wonderful time out at a live electronic dance music show.  This warm uplifting afterglow continued only a few more days before we both started coming down sick.  First Mrs. AP, followed by myself a few days later, fell brutal victim to something that resulted in sinuses wanting to erupt like Krakatoa before the whole attacking system move south into the chest.  As a former asthmatic, I have not felt pressure like that in my chest, nor coughed that long as hard, since my pre-teen days.  This felt like every sports team in New York had decided to permanently squat upon my lungs for days.  Whatever it is that assaulted me, I do not recommend it.

In the midst of this descending corruption of our immune systems, Mrs. AP and I managed to get in another Friday night with our friends from the dance floor.  SCS has some business plan in mind and wanted Mrs. AP, who has a keen financial acumen, to review her plans.  The venue of the meeting wasn’t the most conducive to discussing business plans, and all of us where in some portion of not feeling our best, so the discussion was more generalized than specific.  It may end up being a worthwhile endeavor with which Mrs. AP and I may be involved, but right now a great many of the details still have to be flushed out.  We’ll have to see how well further discussions along that vein run.  Besides, one of the fastest ways to kill a friendship is to mix it with business ventures, and we’d rather keep friends than lose them if we can.

Speaking of keeping and losing friends, things appear to have gone rather sideways with Our Crush.  We had a lovely time with him later in the night after our night out at the live show, and thought we’d made progress toward establishing a good on between us all.  Mrs. AP and I may have been mistaken in that regard; in the two weeks  since our last time together, Our Crush has initiated a conversation with one of us fewer than 5 combined times.  As a result, Mrs. AP and I are feeling rather disheartened.

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Have a SINful Valentine’s Day

May your Valentine’s Day be filled with love, lust, kink, and all things related to delicious debauchery.  Oh yes, and play safely.

 

Stay SINful, friends


Reinvigorated

This past Friday was good for Mrs. AP and I in ways neither of us foresaw!  We both feel alive in ways we’d forgotten.  I’ve re-fallen in love with her, awakened anew to how amazing and beautiful a woman she is.  Music I once adored and then let drift away from my consciousness has slammed back into me with the force of a lightning strike.  Even work, which I had grown to dread, is now just a slight annoyance.  My step has bounce.  For that matter, so does my sit; I have danced in my chair nearly endlessly the past few nights.

Furthermore, our social calendar has metamorphosed from dusty and barren to teaming with life!  Old friendships are being rekindled, new friendships are budding, and our relationship with Our Crush is steadily blossoming.  For the first time that I can recall we are coordinating schedules with multiple people outside the home.  Events, gatherings, and perhaps even potential dates are being discussed more than one week in advance.  These changes are wholeheartedly welcome and embraced!  We surely have needed them!

I wish just such happiness on all of you as well.

 

Stay SINful, friends.