An Absinthe-Loving, Polyamorous, Kinky, Sex-Positive Couple talk about all things Sex, Kink, and LGBTQ.

Posts tagged “Progress

On Rape and Comedy

This past weekend the Golden Globes Awards annual television event was broadcast.  Long-time favorite pair Tina Fey and Amy Poehler again held the honors of hosting the event, which among many other duties involves a long monologue (dualogue?) to open the ceremony.  During the opening segment, after all the oohing and aahing to congratulate (sometimes sarcastically) the attendees, Amy let drop the semi-awkward joke “In Into the Woods, Cinderella runs from her prince, Rapunzel is thrown from a tower for her prince, and Sleeping Beauty just thought she was getting coffee with Bill Cosby,” after which she and Tina traded impressions of Bill Cosby’s famous Jell-O Pudding Pop commercials, but with pills.  It was brutal, and ugly, and not entirely well pulled off, as you can see below.

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The Importance of Saying Nothing

Today the United States Supreme Court released a list of cases it will review during this current term.  Vividly absent from this list were any cases regarding same-sex marriage validity.  While this does not prevent the Supreme Court from taking up such as case in the future, what it does do is further cement the validity that there is no valid reason to prevent two consenting adults from having the same marriage benefits long since enjoyed by Good Christian Couples.  But what is exactly is a Good Christian Couple (term my own), and why should it enter into the realm of legal recognition or protection of a relationship?

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Florida Advances!

Effective tomorrow (today in Miami-Dade County) full marriage equality is the law of the land in Florida … at least for now.  The ruling (and then clarified ruling) from Federal Judge Hinkle dictates that the now infamous 2008 Florida Amendment 2 passage declaring as part of the Florida Constitution that marriage can only be recognized as between One Man and One Woman is itself Unconstitutional at the Federal Level, and thus must be considered null and void.  Couples have already begun marrying in Miami-Dade County at the time of this writing, which makes me smile to no end.  It also means that this map now needs an update.

map

(Map Courtesy of Freedom To Marry)

While this ruling could still potentially be overturned by a Supreme Court Ruling declaring that Marriage Equality is in fact not guaranteed under the rights put forth in the Constitution of the United States, for now Florida can say that it’s caught up to the other 35 States that recognize the fact that loves knows no gender or sexual boundaries between fully informed, consenting individuals.  I’m still not proud to live in a State that voted to deny this right, but I am beyond thrilled that such bigotry and narrow-mindedness is at least being overturned.

Maybe someday Polyamory will see a similar social acceptance, and marriages will be extended beyond the basic couple structure.  Only time will tell …

Stay SINful, friends.


Hope of Things to Come

Oh goodness, the annual “things I want to accomplish” lists that start filling every inch of visible screen space in social media circles this time of year seems endless and almost like a wasted exercise at times, yes?  However, to better remind myself and to hold myself accountable, here’s some things I’d like to see happen this year.

1) Mrs. AP and I have sex more often.  Between my health issues, her giving birth, and all the stress last year our frequency slipped.  It’s time to reconnect, intimately as well as physically.

2) Have more threesomes with Bi Men.  We only had one threesome last year, and that didn’t even see any guy-on-guy action.

3) Suck a cock until I’m swallowing his cum.  We had a string of bad luck there, where our partners couldn’t pop from oral.  I want to fix that.  I’ve not fully tasted another guy since 2009, back before I met Mrs. AP.  I want her to watch me drain a guy dry and then revive him so she can mount him.

4) Bring some more adventure back into our play.  The kink left alongside the regular intervals.  I want to buy several Liberator Fascinator Throes so that I can get Mrs. AP squirting everywhere without risking our mattress.  I want her to buy those strapons she’s been eyeing so she can peg me more frequently.  It’s tricky, what with Baby Girl’s crib in our room, but if we work at it I believe we can get the non-vanilla flavors back into our sexual recipes.

5) Write here more often.  I was awarded well for my efforts after I launched this space nearly 3 years ago, but multiple setbacks knocked me right out of the writing spirit and it’s taken quite some time for me to find the time and confidence again.  I may not ever make the “best of” lists put out by the likes of Rori or Modesty again but I’m okay with that.  This is my release, my space to which I come for all manner of things related to love and sex.  The recognition is admittedly thrilling but ultimately this writing is about me.  I’d forgotten that for a long time.  No more.

Stay SINful, friends.


SINFul Year in Review – Personal

Oh my goodness, SINful friends, the calendar year — if you’re of Gregorian persuasion — is at an end!  Drink!  Watch things explode!  Have drunken exploding sexual encounters! (Hey, can Mrs. AP and I get in on that last one with you?) Don’t do what I’m about to do, by which I mean look back on the past year and wonder how in the world you ever got through it.

No, seriously, stop now if you like.  The rest is being hidden behind this handy little “click to read more” option.

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On Moving Forward

The past few weeks have been the most interesting — and by interesting I mean alternating between frustrating and exhilarating — time for Mrs. AP and I.   When last we spoke, Mrs. AP and I were both feeling rather rejuvenated following a wonderful time out at a live electronic dance music show.  This warm uplifting afterglow continued only a few more days before we both started coming down sick.  First Mrs. AP, followed by myself a few days later, fell brutal victim to something that resulted in sinuses wanting to erupt like Krakatoa before the whole attacking system move south into the chest.  As a former asthmatic, I have not felt pressure like that in my chest, nor coughed that long as hard, since my pre-teen days.  This felt like every sports team in New York had decided to permanently squat upon my lungs for days.  Whatever it is that assaulted me, I do not recommend it.

In the midst of this descending corruption of our immune systems, Mrs. AP and I managed to get in another Friday night with our friends from the dance floor.  SCS has some business plan in mind and wanted Mrs. AP, who has a keen financial acumen, to review her plans.  The venue of the meeting wasn’t the most conducive to discussing business plans, and all of us where in some portion of not feeling our best, so the discussion was more generalized than specific.  It may end up being a worthwhile endeavor with which Mrs. AP and I may be involved, but right now a great many of the details still have to be flushed out.  We’ll have to see how well further discussions along that vein run.  Besides, one of the fastest ways to kill a friendship is to mix it with business ventures, and we’d rather keep friends than lose them if we can.

Speaking of keeping and losing friends, things appear to have gone rather sideways with Our Crush.  We had a lovely time with him later in the night after our night out at the live show, and thought we’d made progress toward establishing a good on between us all.  Mrs. AP and I may have been mistaken in that regard; in the two weeks  since our last time together, Our Crush has initiated a conversation with one of us fewer than 5 combined times.  As a result, Mrs. AP and I are feeling rather disheartened.

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Reinvigorated

This past Friday was good for Mrs. AP and I in ways neither of us foresaw!  We both feel alive in ways we’d forgotten.  I’ve re-fallen in love with her, awakened anew to how amazing and beautiful a woman she is.  Music I once adored and then let drift away from my consciousness has slammed back into me with the force of a lightning strike.  Even work, which I had grown to dread, is now just a slight annoyance.  My step has bounce.  For that matter, so does my sit; I have danced in my chair nearly endlessly the past few nights.

Furthermore, our social calendar has metamorphosed from dusty and barren to teaming with life!  Old friendships are being rekindled, new friendships are budding, and our relationship with Our Crush is steadily blossoming.  For the first time that I can recall we are coordinating schedules with multiple people outside the home.  Events, gatherings, and perhaps even potential dates are being discussed more than one week in advance.  These changes are wholeheartedly welcome and embraced!  We surely have needed them!

I wish just such happiness on all of you as well.

 

Stay SINful, friends.


Why Boy Scouts of America Should Accept Gay and Bisexual Members

As has been widely reported, in the near future there is a strong likelihood that the National Council for the Boy Scouts of America may convene, and that during this convention they would vote on a change to the national by-laws for the organization that would allow Area Councils or individual Troops to choose to lift the current ban on accepting openly gay, bisexual, and other non-heterosexual oriented men and boys.  For an organization as old and as publicly homophobic as the BSA, even the potential for such a vote to swing in favor of progressive, albeit moderated, acceptance is a large step.  As a former Scout, I do not think the current proposal goes far enough.

I grew up as an active member of the BSA.  My parents enrolled me during my first year of grade school, and I remained a member until a combination of school requirements, poor area Troops, and an increasingly full event calendar essentially forced me to drop out.  Nevertheless, I gave 10 years of my life to the BSA.  I attended the weekly meetings, in uniform.   I joined every monthly hike, camping trip, or canoeing trip that I could.  Every summer from the time I was first eligible, I attended a week of camp.  Courtesy of the High Adventure program, I spent a week in a replica schooner in the Florida Keys.  Because of the efficient organization of the BSA, I have hiked portions of the Appalachian Trail, I have attended regional Camporees, I have learned First Aid, how to properly care for a rifle, how to tie elaborate knots, how to whip and fuse rope, and how to be both a good leader and a good follower.  The lessons I learned as a member were invaluable, and carry with me still.

Some of the core tenets of Scouting that I learned and embraced are contained with the Boy Scout Oath.  While I will not recite the entire Oath here, I will focus on the key tenets that apply to the current debate over proper acceptance of members who do not fit the hetero-normative mold.  “On my honor… I will do my duty… to help other people at all times … to keep myself … mentally awake and morally straight.”  Those tenets apply strongly to this fight.  Allow me to break them down.

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Bisexual: Breaking Binary Barriers

Pardon the alliteration, friends, but I’m feeling whimsical.  You’ll forgive me, yes?

I stumbled this morning on an excellent piece hosted on the Huffington Post titled “For Bi Guys Thinking of Coming Out” by author Patrick RichardsFink.  If you have not already, please go read the piece.   Regardless of your gender or sexual identity there are some incredible insights found within the piece, particularly in dealing with the preconceptions most people still carry about sexuality and gender identity being based within the binary normative structure of gay/straight, male/female.

As I have mentioned repeatedly in my writings, I knew comparatively early in my life that I am Bi Male.  Additionally, I came to realize later in life that I am also a Queer Male.  In my further explorations into the roles of gender and sexual identity as parcel to development and establishing meaningful interpersonal relationships, I have had to undo the same kind of binary thinking still prevalent in modern Western society.  Sexuality and Gender are not necessarily static, but may instead exist on a dynamic continuum.  It is with this greater understanding, both externally and internally of the fluidity of self-expression, that led me to the belief that Bi-Curiosity is a misnomer,  a stumbling block upon the path to actualization.  The conversation is not as simple as there being two sides to a coin, but is instead as multifaceted as a Princess-cut diamond.  This complexity requires adopting not only a new approach to coming out but also a new mindset to those still within the binary-normative structure.

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Move Yet Forward

Today is a day of celebration.

Today marks the celebration of the life and aspirations of Reverend Doctor Martin Luther King, Jr., who sought for unity and equality among all people.

Today also marks the second public memorial inauguration of President Obama, who has worked toward realizing the dreams of Reverend Doctor Martin Luther King, Jr.

Regardless of your race, your creed, your orientation, your household status, your heritage, your partnered status, your age, your sex, your gender, or any other qualifying label under which you may place yourself, remember this: until we all hold the same protection under the law, until we all seek to protect the oppressed, the frail, the wounded, and the persecuted — indeed, until we all rise up in love and hope — we all stand to fail.

Choose love and help fulfill a dream.

 

Stay SINful, friends.


All Things Being Unequal

Tonight at work I was shaken by having to deal with some very outspoken white male bigots.  I heard one in particular shouting at somebody over the phone (and I beg you, please, excuse the language) “listen to me, you fucking nigger!”  Several people in the group laughed, showing genuine amusement at the use of such a negative racial epithet.  The same person performing the shouting later remarked that one of the members in the group was “a long-haired faggot” because he was neither drinking with the rest nor had any means of lending assistance to their situation.  Again, members of the group laughed, but I could see the pain flicker in the eyes of the victim of the verbal abuse.  He knew his compatriots were in the wrong, and attempted several times to apologize in their defense.  I felt sad for him.  He felt intrinsically complicit in the vitriloic behavior of his comrades yet seemed to me to appear powerless to stop it in that moment.  I wished them well, him most of all, and left them to their own devices.

In a similar fashion, there was evidently quite the uproar at the end of last week over some very contentious articles written for various UK publications.  The Trans community took offense to some writing by one authori in particular, who in turn rebuked the commenters via what I understand to be ad hominem attacks.  This led to attacks on both sides, and spilled forth from there into more public forums.  Both sides handled things particularly badly, but some good seems to be coming of the incident.  In particular are those providing details of attacks they have suffered from the medical and media communities in addition to private persecution for having the courage to be resolute in becoming inwardly and outwardly comfortable with themselves.  The fact that those in the Trans community suffer persecution, particularly in the form of violence, is no secret.  What is surprising is how blind to that fact so many people seem to (willingly?) be.

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2012 – A Year of Progress

Well, it’s New Year’s Eve in most of the United States right now (Hawaii has some time yet to join the party) and it’s that time of the year where everybody gets contemplative.  This calendar year has been a big one in many ways, not the least of which personally.  After all, one year ago this little corner of the internet I call AbSINthe Passion was only a flickering glimmer of a dream in the recesses of my mind, and now here we all are together, SINful friends, looking back on the year that was.  It’s been a fun ride so far, hasn’t it?  We’ve laughed, we’ve cried, we’ve gotten aroused to the point of no return, and we’ve grown through it all.  Thankfully, it seems the country (for those of us in the United States) as a whole decided to grow with us.

Of course, the biggest story of the year in the USA was the Presidential Election.  I labored hard in this space to bring forth the issues of equality and progress as they pertained to the election process, and I was incredibly proud of the results not only when President Obama was re-elected but also when four U.S. States voted in favor of equal marriage rights.  I believe I cried more over the progress shown by those four states than I did when the election was called for President Obama.  The fact that this much advancement has been made a mere 4 years after Florida Amendment 2 and California Proposition 8 is extraordinary, and gives me hope for a more accepting humanity in the future.

The year 2012 also so a prominent sports figure come to the public defense of Equal Marriage in not one but two scathing public letters that completely demolish the arguments presented by people who should be, by virtue of their respective positions, rather intelligent people.  Prior to that, however, way back in the early days of Summer, retail chain JC Penney first signed Ellen DeGeneres on as a spokeperson — which deeply upset the conservative group One Million Moms — and then upped the ante by featuring a Father’s Day ad showing  family with two dads (an actual gay couple, gasp shock!) playing with their kids.  If that’s not an awesome way to ignore dissenters and protest groups, I don’t know what is.

Last, but certainly not least, 2012 was a big year for Mrs. AP and me.  When I started this blog we were sharing a house with her soon-to-be ex-husband and our roommate.  That changes a few months later when we moved into a place of our own, separate and removed from other adult entanglements and free to grow our relationship as we see fit.  At times the relocation into a significantly smaller place has been challenging and frustrating, but we stick together and will get through it smashingly.  We always do.

Thank you Mrs. AP for supporting me on this journey, and thank you SINful friends for joining me along the path.

 

Stay SINful, friends.


Don’t Spread Hate

In the aftermath of the horrible shooting tragedy in Newtown, CT the Westboro Baptist Church — a Hate Cult posing as “Christian Soldiers” while operating under a tax-exempt status out of their stronghold complex in Topeka, KS — declared their intention to travel to Newtown to picket the funerals of the victims and to “sing praise to God for the glory of his work in executing his judgment.”

Hacktivist group Anonymous immediately went on the offensive against the WBC — not for the first time this year — by releasing an extensive document containing personal information of every person involved in the group’s hierarchy.  Releasing such information is tantamount to encouraging harassment of every member of this group.  Despite the abject loathing I have for this group, I do not condone reacting to them in a harassing matter.  As deeply misguided and blindly uneducated as their stances are, and as vitriolic as their rhetoric is, waging war against them in such fashion only enables them to view such an assault as justification for their cause.  Their religious fervor combines with their abject idiocy and unconscionable bigotry to become a self-sustaining group sociopathy; any attempt to attack the group behavior only strengthens their delusions.  The only way to treat this disease is not to feed it but instead to starve it out.

To that end, Anonymous also started a White House petition to have the WBC labelled as a Hate Group.  As of this writing this petition has received nearly 175,000 signatures, 150,000 more than is required for the current administration to review and consider the petition.  This petition remains open until January 13 — 30 days beyond the day it was started — which allows a significant amount of time for more signatures to be placed.  The reclassification of the WBC could pave the way to revocation of the group’s IRS Tax-exempt status, although this is a legally grey area, as the IRS is not necessarily beholden to Congress on matter of tax-exemption.  Should this status be revoked, and possibly applied retroactively, it would severely impair the groups ability to continue their shameful, hateful behavior.

Please join me in this fight and add your signature to the petition.  At the current pace, the petition could top 2 Million signatures!  Such a response is both surely unprecedented.

 

Stay SINful, friends.


The Not So Revelatory Revelation

I had absolutely no topic on my mind tonight.  I wasn’t certain I even wanted to write.  However, I try to follow my own advice, and it occurred to me that one of the things on which I briefly touched in my quick-hit update last week could be segued into a larger post.  Ergo, I write, despite not initially having any idea.  Take notes, kids.  There will be a test someday.  I think.

I must also thank my fellow blogger Bi_and_Bi, who’s most recent post about why she’s a sex blogger got me thinking about why I’m doing what I’m doing here, and how I want my life to progress at this point.  Thank you, Bi_and_Bi.  You’re an inspiration.

You see, when I started this blog here in my own little quiet corner of the internet, I intended it as a place where I could practice self-therapy and talk about all kinds of fun kinky sexual adventures along the way.  As a man who has struggled repeatedly over the years with his sexual identity and desires, it seemed a practical approach.  Also, my job doesn’t pay me much, and blogging is cheaper than professional therapy.

As a therapeutic place of rest, this little space of mine has served brilliantly, I think.  I’ve been able to open my mind and let things flow in ways that still, frustratingly, are difficult when trying to voice those same thoughts.  Something about the way my mind organizes when writing allows for more insight and introspection than when I’m trying to keep my mouth working at the same time.   That one I’m still working on.

Nevertheless, as I’ve mentioned many times, some of the bloggers found over in my blogroll were instrumental in helping me decide that a sex blog in particular was the kind of self-therapy in which I wanted to engage.  You see, Mrs. AP and I had been dancing around making a visit to Eyz Wide Shut for some time — I’ve wanted to visit a Swinger’s Club for years, but could never quite work up the nerve to make such a visit happen — and Mrs. AP is incredibly thorough in her research when deciding how best to support me.  In said research she stumbled upon the writings of Kissin Blue Karen, who is a regular at Eyz Wide Shut and mentions the establishment repeatedly.  At the time, Karen had recently been listed by Red Region Inferno as one of the Sexiest Blogs of 2011.  Perusing the list led to me finding a multitude of wonderful writers, most notably Josh and BB at Our Open Marriage Adventures and Mr. No Name.  Reading their raw accounts of not just what they were doing but how they felt about it and seeing their respective personal growths along the way helped me understand that I, too, could use such an outlet and be in good company.

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An Update, AP Style

Life in the AP household has been a rollercoaster lately, as some of my more recent posts may have conveyed.   I feel the need to issue a brief recap, so here goes.

  • Online chats with Our Date have gone well.  The more we talk the more Mrs. AP and I both like him.  There seems to be great potential here.
  • Illness has struck the AP house over the past week, first with the kids and now with Mrs. AP.  It has prevented additional dates with Our Date just yet.
  • The job for which I interviewed in March and was promised in April (and reassured was coming my way “as soon as viably possible in May, June, July, and August) has been pulled off the table.  This is simultaneously a terrible disappointment and a great relief, as now Mrs. AP and I are out of the holding pattern of awaiting an offer letter.
  • We have zero plans for Thanksgiving (celebrated in the U.S. on the fourth Thursday in November, e.g. two days from now.)  I am somehow unperturbed by this.  If Mrs. AP is still suffering from cold-like symptoms, our meal will be simple and focused of getting her healthy foods that will aid her recovery.
  • My birthday is at the end of the month.  Mrs. AP is planning an all night celebration that includes Our Date.  The possibilities are limitless.   So is my excitement.

Good things are coming.  I can feel it.  I just hope we’re ready.

 

Stay SINful, friends.


How August

Well, here we are, first day of August.  August is a special month here in the Tampa Bay area; the Tampa Bay Buccaneers NFL team begins preseason games.  The Tampa Bay Rays do their best to imitate a professional baseball team.  School resumes classes for grade school and college students alike.   Temperatures stay scorching, however, and the area’s top-rated beaches — some of the best in the country, even the world — remain a top draw for tourists and locals.  August ushers in many changes, and hopefully several good ones for me, but before we get there, let’s take a look back at what July brought:

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Democrats Grow A Pair!

I don’t often talk politics in this space, but the announcement that hit the wire yesterday was too big for me to ignore.  As sources told Politico, a drafting session by members of the party responsible for drafting the official party platform have included language in support of Equal Marriage Rights.  Openly gay, married, retiring Congressman Barney Frank of Massachusetts reportedly said the vote was unanimous.  This is a tremendously big deal for me, and not only because I identify as a member of the LGBTQ community, but also because I grew up in the Southeastern United States and have seen the lingering effects of willful discrimination all my life.

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