An Absinthe-Loving, Polyamorous, Kinky, Sex-Positive Couple talk about all things Sex, Kink, and LGBTQ.

Posts tagged “Life

-isms

Today — 6 January, 2020 — is the one year anniversary of an incensed mob trying to prevent the validation of legal voting results for the 2020 Presidential Election of the the United States of America, because one side refused to accept the results. This happened, in part, because they chose to believe what made them comfortable instead of investing in critical thinking and analytical skills.

My wish for this next year, especially while we’re caught in the midst of another spike of COVID infections and hospitalizations, is that people begin abandoning adherence to what they’re spoon-fed and instead embrace learning, compassion, diversity, awareness, truth, and love. Not just love for romantic partners, or love for their family, but the kind of love that eschews selfishness and embraces community strength through communication, acceptance, and camaraderie.

Be inclusive. Be supportive. Be intolerant of intolerance. Grow. Evolve. Love.

Stay (safely) SINful, friends.


How Very Queer

Day 2 of #JanuaryJumpstart! Yesterday felt pretty good, let’s see how we do today, shall we? (I’ll be honest here folks, I don’t know if there are prompts for this or not, so I’m running off internal inspiration here.)

I’ve had Queerness on my mind a great deal of late. Between watching TV shows and films that feature Queer characters, to having many close friends come out in various ways, I’ve had a lot of Queerness in my life, and friends, it has been delightful! But it’s left me wondering … how, in a time of a pandemic, when I’m not seeing anybody outside my immediate household in an effort to keep the young and the immunocompromised from being unnecessarily exposed, do I celebrate my own Queerness?

Also, I feel compelled here to mention that being Queer, to me, means not being a straight, cisgender person. Whether you’re Gay, Bi, Pan, Trans, Demi, Ace, or any other sexual or gender alignment that would be stacked by a talking head from a pulpit or a conservative talk radio station, you’re Queer in my eyes. If that’s not a label you would like used in reference to you, by all means, please correct me or anybody else who is incorrect. I will be happy to be corrected, and to use the terminology you prefer.

With that out of the way, let’s explore, shall we?

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6 Years Already?

It’s been six years since this place opened for business. Don’t believe me? Check out the first post! Look at that date! That’s 6 years and 1 day ago! (Look, work was busy yesterday, so I missed the actual anniversary date. I’m sorry. Please forgive me.)

It’s been a long journey, one that’s been pretty quiet (sexually speaking) the past few years. There have been several moves, one that even crossed 4 state boundaries. There have been massive health issues and traumas, and work has gone from something mundane to something practically all encompassing.

But I’m not done yet. I’ll update still, and work harder on getting that writing spark back more often. I did well at the beginning of the year. With hard work and perseverance I bet I can get that going again.

Thanks for coming along for the ride. And if we’ve been naked together, thanks for cumming on that ride, too.

Stay SINful, friends.


I Dreamt of Her: A Wicked Wednesday Post

I don’t dream often, now, nor have I for decades. Most of my memorable dreaming stopped around the time I entered puberty. This isn’t anything I’ve really explored, although I understand I might want to. Not remembering dreams isn’t what is considered normal behavior, I guess. Still, when I was single in my early 20s, there was a night where I dreamt of my ex-girlfriend strongly; vividly; memorably.
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Love in the Time of Toddlers

I wish I could be bringing you a sexy update, SINful friends. I know, we’re three posts into the new year and I’ve not given details on any mind blowing orgasms, incredible blowjobs, or delicious squirtings. It’s hard, you see, to have such wonderful times when there’s a three year old sleeping in your bed. Although things can get amusing when she decides to wake up after sleeping in her “big girl bed” on the floor next to yours.
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T.M.I. Tuesday – How’s It Going?

Time for another edition of T.M.I. Tuesday!  Click below to see how well I performed!
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T-Minus 3 Weeks to History Being Made

Today is Tuesday, the 18th day of October in the year 2016.  In three weeks time, the general election for the next President of the United States of America will culminate in us learning which version of historical precedence will be set.

Possibility 1: Hillary Clinton, the candidate for the Democratic Party, will become the first woman and the first spouse of a previous President to be elected President of the United States.

Possibility 2: Donal Trump, the candidate for the Republican Party, will become the first multiple divorcee, multiple civil trial defendant, multiple fraud charge defendant, first candidate allegedly indebted to the Russian government, and first person to have children with multiple previous wives, to be elected President of the United States.

If you are reading this entry, I can assume you love either politics or sex (or both).

If you love politics, please do not vote for Trump.  He is destroying every standard and ethical approach to politics this country has ever seen.

If you love sex, please do not vote for Trump.  He routinely disparages (and admits to assaulting) women, he regularly insults everybody who is not straight, and he is actively seeking to undo all of the progressive gains this country has made over the last 8 years in regards to civil and equal rights for every non-hetero-normative individual in this country.

Please, if you are a U.S. Citizen, and especially so if you live in one of the states regularly contested, such as Florida, Pennsylvania, Ohio, and Iowa, cast your vote for Clinton.  Your LGBTQ+ friends and families, and their families, have their very lives at stake in this election.  Stand with us.  Stand for progress.  Stand for hope.  Stand for being stronger together.

 

Stay SINful, friends.


Getting to Know Yourself

Demisexual.

It’s a fun word.  Until recently I’d not heard of it, but it started coming up in some reading Mrs. AP and I had been doing, and we being the ever curious types, we looked it up.  According to the Demisexual Resource Center, demisexuality is defined as

a sexual orientation in which someone feels sexual attraction only to people with whom they have an emotional bond. Most demisexuals feel sexual attraction rarely compared to the general population, and some have little to no interest in sexual activity.

As you well know if you’ve read any of the tales of the sexual exploits and explorations in which Mrs. AP and I have endeavored together, the latter half of that definiion — “some have little to no interest in sexual activity” — is not applicable to Mrs. AP or myself.  We are delightfully sexually vibrant (well, not always, but we all have our down times, don’t we?)  However, when Mrs. AP read the first part of that definition she had to stop reading and collect herself.  In stunned meditation she processed what she had read, then read it again carefully to confirm she’d not missed anything, before quietly saying “… that’s me!”

I believe this revelation helps us refocus on who we are as individuals and as a couple, and how to tie that in with my previous post — because we’ve had no luck so far finding a wonderful man for us to date. It also means there’s some reorganizing with our online profiles.
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Looking Anew

This last weekend Mrs. AP and I moved from Orlando to the Atlantic Coast — specifically the Space Coast — to get away from the noise and endless bustle and draining energy of the city. Now we’re near the beach! Win for us!

We’re also (okay, more she than me at the moment) being more active on OKC and FL and starting good conversations with potential new lovers.

It’s been over 3 years since I sucked a cock, and nearly 7 since I swallowed cum that is not my own. That itch needs scratching, and soon.

More SINful stories to come! The urge, the need, to write is hitting more. Just have to finish unpacking and get over some of these work deadlines first…

Stay SINful, friends!


TMI Tuesday: 26 January 2016

I should be asleep right now, but insomnia awoke me, and the urge to write something … anything … hit me upside the head like a hard, thick, wet cock.  Ergo, I’m playing along.  Enter, and find within answers to mysteries, won’t you, my SINful friend?

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Let’s Dance

I awoke this morning to the news that David Bowie had died.  Like most of the world, I was gutted by this news, and have spent the rest of the day — while working, nonetheless — fighting back the release of tears that have been omnipresent behind my eyelids.  Undoubtedly The Man of Many Personas left us too soon, but oh, what gifts he left us all, and the LGBTQ+ community specifically.

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Embracing the Other

Earlier this year, a young white male sat inside a church in Charleston, South Carolina, USA and waited for whatever moment he considered to be perfect before revealing multiple firearms and shooting at members of the church.  9 were dead and many more injured by the time his rampage was complete.

Earlier this year, members of ISIL/ISIS were videotaped binding gay couples and throwing them from the tops of buildings.

Earlier this year, Buddhist monks in Burma lead a movement of oppressive laws and physical attacks against both women and against Muslims.

Earlier this year, LGBTQ families across the United States were threatened (and many attacked) when the U.S. Supreme Court declared that same sex marriage is an equal right.

Earlier this month, a Moroccan actress was attacked after starring in a film about the exploitation of sex workers in Marrakech.

Earlier this week, students at The University of Missouri in Columbia, Missouri, USA were threatened with bombs and guns for having the bravery to stand up to racist slurs and threats.

Earlier this week, suicide bombers kills dozens of people in Beirut.

Yesterday, attacks in Paris killed hundreds.

I could go on, but the patterns, the trends, they repeat into perpetuity.  Across the world people separate themselves — Christian vs non-Christian, Catholic vs Protestant, Shi’a vs Sunni, Shinto vs Taoist, Israeli vs Palestinian, Black vs White, American vs Mexican, British vs Irish, Straight vs Gay, Men vs Women, Police vs Civilians, etc. — using labels that enable one group to define any other convenient group as The Other.  The Other is dangerous!  The Other is to be feared!  The Other must be fought!  The Other seeks to take our land, our women, our jobs, our freedom!  The Other must be made to go away!  Protect us from The Other!

Why are we so quick to define and then retreat from The Other?  In the United States, why the ever increasing rhetoric to fear people from across the wrong border, or people who use a different house of worship, or people who love differently?  In the world writ large, why the ever increasing fear of those fleeing from violence, those crossing borders in hopes of living, those who wish only to live in peace?  Why the fear of women being seen as equals, or LGBTQ+ people being treated with genuine respect and honor?  Why the fear, disgust, intolerance, and even outright hatred of The Other?

Living with The Other requires stepping outside a pre-established comfortable space, in which The One is not challenged by foreign ideas.  The One has a manufactured reality; normality is fabricated, molded, shaped into something that most resembles The One.  The One may be in comfort, communing with others who resemble The One in body type, skin color, religious or philosophical ideals, leisure activities, and cultural representations.  The One does not have to question if reality outside the small space occupied by The One differs from the reality The One has built, for the outside does not impugn nor encroach upon The One.  The One is secure.

Introducing The Other into the comfortable space of The One dissolves that reality.  The Other does not conform to the expectations around which The One has built daily life, and The One, often as a result of this self constructed minimized reality, lacks the coping ability to recognize The Other as being a valid part of reality.  While from the perspective of The Other the constructed reality of The One is limited and minimal and could use a refreshing expansion, from the perspective of The One the arrival of The Other signifies destruction and rejection of all that The One has built.  The Other sees expansion and inclusion, whereas The One sees conflict and restriction.  Lacking the foundation upon which expansion can be built, The One lashes out.

This lashing may be verbal.  It may be subtle, in the introduction of policies, regulations, or laws that prevent the acceptance of The Other, thus forcing The Other back away from the falsely maintained reality of The One.  Should — nay, when — The Other refuses to regress, The One responds with more fervor.  Regulations become threats.  Threats become violence.  Violence becomes murder.  Not always, but often, for The One is accustomed to being heard and followed, and does not understand why The Other does not comply.

What I hope — indeed, for what we should all hope — is that we will learn how to stop being The One and recognize that we are all The Other.  In this world of ever-growing connectedness, let us learn how to become connecting.  Let us, instead of fearing and rejecting The Other, open ourselves to learning and adapting and expanding.  We can learn from The Other.  We, as The Other, can teach.  We can be examples.  We can embrace.

Do not reject The One, nor reject The Other.  Destroy the limitations, yes, but only to build bigger and better through expansion.  Reject fear and vitriol, and do not tolerate the spread of things based on hate, but act with love.  Act with kindness and openness and respect.  Demonstrate compassion.

Start with an embrace.

Stay SINful, friends.


T.M.I Tuesday – It’s Conan O’Brien

Time for another edition of T.M.I. Tuesday!  Click below to see how well I performed!

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T.M.I. Tuesday – Old Man Winter!

It’s T.M.I. Tuesday time!  Click below to see how well I play along this week!

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On Rape and Comedy

This past weekend the Golden Globes Awards annual television event was broadcast.  Long-time favorite pair Tina Fey and Amy Poehler again held the honors of hosting the event, which among many other duties involves a long monologue (dualogue?) to open the ceremony.  During the opening segment, after all the oohing and aahing to congratulate (sometimes sarcastically) the attendees, Amy let drop the semi-awkward joke “In Into the Woods, Cinderella runs from her prince, Rapunzel is thrown from a tower for her prince, and Sleeping Beauty just thought she was getting coffee with Bill Cosby,” after which she and Tina traded impressions of Bill Cosby’s famous Jell-O Pudding Pop commercials, but with pills.  It was brutal, and ugly, and not entirely well pulled off, as you can see below.

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Hope of Things to Come

Oh goodness, the annual “things I want to accomplish” lists that start filling every inch of visible screen space in social media circles this time of year seems endless and almost like a wasted exercise at times, yes?  However, to better remind myself and to hold myself accountable, here’s some things I’d like to see happen this year.

1) Mrs. AP and I have sex more often.  Between my health issues, her giving birth, and all the stress last year our frequency slipped.  It’s time to reconnect, intimately as well as physically.

2) Have more threesomes with Bi Men.  We only had one threesome last year, and that didn’t even see any guy-on-guy action.

3) Suck a cock until I’m swallowing his cum.  We had a string of bad luck there, where our partners couldn’t pop from oral.  I want to fix that.  I’ve not fully tasted another guy since 2009, back before I met Mrs. AP.  I want her to watch me drain a guy dry and then revive him so she can mount him.

4) Bring some more adventure back into our play.  The kink left alongside the regular intervals.  I want to buy several Liberator Fascinator Throes so that I can get Mrs. AP squirting everywhere without risking our mattress.  I want her to buy those strapons she’s been eyeing so she can peg me more frequently.  It’s tricky, what with Baby Girl’s crib in our room, but if we work at it I believe we can get the non-vanilla flavors back into our sexual recipes.

5) Write here more often.  I was awarded well for my efforts after I launched this space nearly 3 years ago, but multiple setbacks knocked me right out of the writing spirit and it’s taken quite some time for me to find the time and confidence again.  I may not ever make the “best of” lists put out by the likes of Rori or Modesty again but I’m okay with that.  This is my release, my space to which I come for all manner of things related to love and sex.  The recognition is admittedly thrilling but ultimately this writing is about me.  I’d forgotten that for a long time.  No more.

Stay SINful, friends.


Pick and Choose?

As a follow-up to the conversation Mrs. AP and I had the other night, Mrs. AP asked me what kind of action / relationship / friendship … thing … for which I’m looking.  Evidently my stare of confusion was quite audible even in the dark of our bedroom at night, because she rephrased the question, asking “Are you just looking for some boy bits to play with or are you looking for somebody more long term and permanent for a relationship.”  I still needed clarification, however, so in response I asked “do you mean as just a playful swinger kind of thing or as a more poly boyfriend situation kind of distinction?”

“Yes, exactly; play for fun or long-term play?”

I mulled this over in my head some before answering slowly and deliberately “What I want right now is just playful fun with boy parts, for us to suck and fuck and get fucked.  That’s what I’m craving.  Sexy fun time with another guy or two.”

Truth be told — and that’s why I’m here, right? — that’s not the entirety of what I want.  I don’t think it ever has been one or the other for me; it’s always been both.

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SINFul Year in Review – Personal

Oh my goodness, SINful friends, the calendar year — if you’re of Gregorian persuasion — is at an end!  Drink!  Watch things explode!  Have drunken exploding sexual encounters! (Hey, can Mrs. AP and I get in on that last one with you?) Don’t do what I’m about to do, by which I mean look back on the past year and wonder how in the world you ever got through it.

No, seriously, stop now if you like.  The rest is being hidden behind this handy little “click to read more” option.

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Getting Back to the Swing of Things

As my most recent post details, I’ve had some health issues of late that have compounded or correlated with a lackluster libido.  Thankfully both the health and the libido issues are being resolved — I’ve been off antibiotics for nearly 48 hours and am starting to feel a slight increase in my energy levels — and I can get back to my sexy self.

But what is my sexy self?

As a former athlete who now resides in a non-athletic body, I often times find myself fighting the disconnect between the way I perceived myself as sexy when I had nary an ounce of body fat and had stamina for hours of continuous rigorous exercise versus the current state, where my midsection is protruding more than I’d like and I can’t even walk 5 flights of stairs without getting winded.  My body and my mind are not in agreement over my current state at all, which often leads to silly things like me thinking I really can run after the kids at the park without killing myself.

This past month, in which I’ve stayed in two different hospitals, has led me to resolve to change my lifestyle, which in turn will (I hope) lead me back into My Lifestyles.

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The Hidden Health Cause of My Lost Libido

Greetings, SINful Friends!  Today I bring a public health and safety awareness message.  If you’re looking for a sexy post or detailed recounting of sexual, move along.  Or read to the end and see if I work something in.  You never know.

Over the past 6 months to a year, Mrs. AP has noticed a continual waning of my sexual appetite.  While many psychologist, and even more married couples, will attest to the fact that interest levels wax and wane throughout a relationship and that sometimes two partners will be on very different sexual planes of existence, this drop in my interest levels could be considered precipitous.  The playfulness, the kinkiness, the embrace of all things orgasmic, had faded into boring, vanilla, infrequent sessions that were usually just a few short minutes of foreplay followed by a less than impressive coupling before I finished and rolled away for cleanup.  Mind you, I felt completely satisfied by these sessions, but I knew we were missing our … something.

In the middle of August, we moved out of the rundown (and, as we’ve since discovered, ridiculously moldy and likely illness inducing) house apartment in the Tampa Bay area and moved to a brand new apartment in Orlando.  At the end of August, I was hospitalized.

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A Changing of Winds

Hello again, SINful Friends.  It’s been some time since I’ve posted anything of substance, hasn’t it?  My dearest apologies.  Many happenings have intruded upon my writing schedule (what schedule? Hah!), so today shall be a combination of recounting all we’ve missed over the last year and some musings over the future of things.  So grab a snack, pour a glass, and get comfy.  Potential exists for this to take some time.

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The Progress We Make

Today was a standout day in terms of the ongoing fight for equality for my wonderful LGTBQ community.

First we had the wonderful surprise ruling from U.S. District Judge Orlando Garcia, who ruled that the Texas ban against gay marriage violated the 14 Amendment of the United States Constitution.  In his ruling Judge Garcia wrote “Today’s court decision is not made in defiance of the great people of Texas or the Texas Legislature, but in compliance with the U.S. Constitution and Supreme Court precedent.  Without a rational relation to a legitimate governmental purpose, state-imposed inequality can find no refuge in our U.S. Constitution.”  Similar decisions have recently been handed down in Virginia and Kansas, and the swelling tide is pushing toward one of these decisions eventually leading to a case being heard by the United States Supreme Court.  As more decisions are made in favor of equality, the precedence will be further set for the Supreme Court to finally rule on the matter altogether.  Such a hearing and decision would not come for a few years out, still, but the evidence thus far shows that the soon this chapter of legal discrimination will be able to be closed.

Additionally, today also saw Governor Jan Brewer of Arizona veto State Bill 1062, which included language that would have given any person or business legal standing to deny “impactful service” that would have required a compromise of one’s religious convictions.  While the most popular reaction was that right-wing Christian businesses could then refuse services to non-heteronormative individuals, the broad spectrum written into the bill would also have allowed Muslim business owners to refuse service to “infidels”, or Catholic business or charities to refuse service to divorcees or unwed mothers.  There was no discernible distinction between what would be considered an undue burden, and the evidence needed was nearly as sparse as simple testimony of conviction and belief.  This was a victory not only for the LGBTQ community but also for every minority religious group in the state of Arizona that needs protection from the far too common bigotry paraded as Christian values.

Granted, neither of these rulings directly affect me.  I don’t live in either Texas or Arizona, and while I identify as Bisexual, to the general public I appear to be relatively hetero-normative.  I have Mrs. AP as my soon-to-be wife.  We have a family together.  While we have dated other men together in the past, and have had some wonderful threesomes with them and others, none of that translates into our public appearances seeming to be anything other than a normal, stereotypical American family.

That said…

I need these rulings to help be able to break out of appearing to be the stereotypical hetero-normative male.  I need these rulings so that public perception can be further pushed into acceptance and eventual embrace instead of discrimination.  I need these rulings so that I don’t have to worry about making a comment about another man in public, or kissing another man right after Mrs. AP finishes with him, or the three of us all holdings hands in public will cause uproars and become public issues.  Yes, I’m terribly to live in one of the most liberal portions of Florida, so that when Mrs. AP and I have been out in public with another man we’ve not been met with derision, but not every county in Florida is that accepting.  The state law bans marriage between anybody other than one man and one woman.   Non-heteronormative couples are not allowed to adopt.  For as non-Southern as Florida may be, it’s still conservative.  Consider, then, that Florida isn’t even one of the top 5 most conservative states.  If my fellow human beings who identify within the LGBTQ spectrum cannot receive equal treatment in any state, the fight is not yet over.  If those same fellow humans cannot receive equal protection in every state, the fight must continue.

Today included victories in two important battles.  Let’s work to keep those victories coming.

Stay SINful, friends.


On My Absence

Friends and Readers, I know it’s been awhile.  Much has come up, or gone down, or both.  I have felt your absence, or more precisely mine, and found it terribly difficult to find a way to get back to you.

 

Not long at all after my last post (half a year ago…) nearly everything in my world was thrown into a velvet bag, shaken vigorously, and dumped onto the floor.  People in my private life found out about this blog and their reactions shattered my confidence.  A change in jobs turned out to be not as comfortable as advertised, and my confidence slipped further.  Mrs. AP and I began having more social time with friends who, while lovely and sexy and absolutely play-worthy material if they ever were up to doing so, are rather demanding of both time and energy.  With my introversion and Mrs. AP’s dynamism between introversion and extroversion we simply don’t have the resources to be able to be the busy socialites, the dedicated parents, the financially struggling couple, and the sexy blog authors.  We turned inward, we focused on family, and somewhere along the way I found myself feeling more confident, more alive, and more connected to Mrs. AP than we’d felt in months.  Perhaps even a year.

 

We’ve had some sexy adventures here and there.  One in particular remains quite fixed in my mind.  I’ll do my best to bring that to you soon.  For those who kept checking in, thank you.  For those who asked about us via Twitter, a special thanks to you.  Your concern helped.

 

Stay SINful, friends.


Playing: Couple or Solo

Mrs. AP and I had a night out Friday night with SCS and her boyfriend.  Well, I should rephrase: half the night was SCS and several of her other friends, the other half of the night SCS’ boyfriend joined us.  He was busy for the first half of the night with an income-producing venture, yet he’s currently without clearance to drive, so SCS provides him transportation whenever such opportunities present themselves.

Mrs. AP and I were both feeling better than we had previously in the month, mostly thanks to rest over the previous few days and a healthy dose of drugs designed to let us behave as normal human beings again.  While we’re both rather traditionalist and wary of what substances we ingest, thank goodness for modern medicine!

Over the course of the many discussions held over the evening, one theme became apparent; SCS and her boyfriend quite often live very separate lives.  Granted, they’ve only been living together a short while, but it struck Mrs. AP and I as being a bit odd that a committed couple would be relatively heavily involved in having social lives that often do not involve one’s partner.  Mrs. AP and I simply do not operate that way.

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