An Absinthe-Loving, Polyamorous, Kinky, Sex-Positive Couple talk about all things Sex, Kink, and LGBTQ.

Posts tagged “Gender

Sexuality and Gender in Modern Times

I was reading an amazingly fantastic and thought provoking article in New York Magazine on the growing number of parents who are accepting and assisting their children — sometimes very young children — with gender dysphoria issues.  The article can be found here and is worth every minute it takes to read.  As I was reading these deeply touching stories of families who’s children know they’re in the wrong gender bodies and fear the results of the onset of adolescence, I started wondering how I would react if any of my children began expressing these similar fears and concerns and assertions.

I know the struggles I faced growing up trying to match my desires and urges with what family and society expected of me.  In a way I still struggle, albeit it less every day, because the act of unlearning fear and shame and anxiety is not completed overnight.  My dynamic dance between pride and embarrassment, however well choreographed, still leaves my improvising the next step more often than not.  I know I have no reason to feel shame, or to cow to the perceived expectations of a nameless and faceless Society, yet the underpinnings are still there awaiting the day I finally remove the cracked foundation and pour a fresh, solid slab.

So I wonder, with a great deal of empathy, how much of a struggle it must be for children to have to not only face the conflict of desiring a romantic relationship counter to the accepted societal norm but also face the daily, inescapable reminder that the physical gender identity does not match that with which the brain associates.  I could sneak surreptitious appreciative glances at other guys and not get caught, or focus on erotica in the privacy of my own room.  For the child experiencing gender dysphoria there is no escape; s/he is reminded during every bladder movement, every changing of clothes, every bath or shower or trip to the beach or swim in the pool that the body parts are wrong.