An Absinthe-Loving, Polyamorous, Kinky, Sex-Positive Couple talk about all things Sex, Kink, and LGBTQ.

Posts tagged “Fetish


I’m trying something new this week.  There’s something started bumbling around in my brain and I’m going to see how well it looks once it comes out.  For the first time ever, may I present a bit of erotic fiction:

Rules of Engagement

When it comes to playing in The Lifestyle — and I don’t care if that’s Poly, Swinger, BDSM, Kink, or whatever other non-mainstream lifestyle you think is The Lifestyle at the moment — there are always rules of etiquette that need to be followed for everybody to have a good time.  These rules often also serve to help keep people safe and, in general, insure that a return visit will be allowed, perhaps even requested, by others at the event.  Some of these are standard issue rules of etiquette that apply to any public behavior — be mindful of surroundings, be polite, follow the rules of the establishment or host, etc. — but some other rules come into play when dealing with those of us on the kinky fringe of society.



Community.  The word generates a multitude of images, different for each person.  For some it’s the large, bustling neighborhoods of the city.  Elsewhere, it’s the sprawling lands of the loosely populated rural areas where everybody knows not only their own neighbor but everyone else’s as well.  Still other images are those of closed religious communities, huddled inside their compounds isolated from the western world.  There’s the Amish, or the Native American, or the Hispanic communities as well; anybody in Pennsylvania, the Great Plains, or Miami can attest to the feeling of unity and togetherness found within those groups.  In all examples, the people can easily gather and rally to support and improve their community.  But what about us on the fringe, who are connected not by physical proximity but by interest and lifestyle?  How do we go about cultivating, growing, and maintaining our communities?

In Tampa, all three of the Lifestyle communities — Swinger, Fetish/BDSM, and Polyamory — have relatively large and active populations.  In many instances there is overlap between two of three of these communities, although I believe that overlap exists more greatly between Fetish and Poly than between any other combination.  In part, I think, this is attributable to the fact that both Fetish/BDSM and Poly are more intrinsically built around developing longer relationships and exploring the boundaries of those relationships, which takes time.  This is not to say that Swinger and Fet  or Swinger and Poly cannot or do not overlap; there is certainly a fair amount of partner swapping among BDSM play partners, and several Poly people visit Swinger events.  I simply have not seen the evidence of as wide a crossover in those categories, at least not here.  In other places it may be different.  Which brings us back to the question, how do we explore and improve these communities?


Pleasure in absentia

Last night (or is it still tonight since the sun still sleeps?) Mrs. AbsinthePassion was accompanied to Fetish Circuit’s Fetish Ball by our good friend Railgun.  I have been stuck at work throughout the night, but I’m sure She looked fantastic and had a splendid time.


I can’t wait to get home and hear all about it.


Stay SINful, friends.

Keeping Kink, Poly, and Swinging Safe

As I have mentioned several times before, I am a member on FetLife.  For those not in “The Know”, FetLife is a social networking site that caters specifically to Kinksters, Fetishists, and the BDSM Lifestyle.  It is NOT a dating site, although people have met and do meet new partners through the site.  The intent behind FetLife is to encourage communication among members, share information about local events, and to help everybody within the BDSM Lifestyle grow.  In this vein, any member can register to start a new Group, similar to the Groups on Facebook.  The theme of the group can be anything; for example, one very large Group is Kinky and Geeky.  Another is “Swingers” is not a bad word!  There are groups for those who enjoy strap-on play; groups for those who are or like women who squirt.  Groups for people under 35, or stay up late, are Polyamorous, or live in particular areas are also prevalent.

Through joining these groups and participating in the very active discussion threads — these groups operate more like the early 2000’s message boards, wherein multiple topics are used for beginning discussion threads — members can expand their social network, learn things about nearly every subject imaginable, and generally become better partners both in and out of the Kink and Fetish scenes.  And, as with every other social network of note out there, members can write Journal Entries (think Facebook’s Notes) to share something outside one of the Groups.  Journal Entries and pictures have a “Love This?” button similar to Facebook’s “Like” feature.  Where Fetlife differs, however, is that pictures, videos, and journal entries that receive a great amount of love within a short period of time end up in the Kinky and Popular feed.

The Kinky and Popular feed is a page dedicated to the items of the day (or even time of day on a busy day) that has been clicked on the most for the “Love This” button.  As expected of a site geared toward adult members, the majority of the pictures, videos, and articles are of an adult nature, and in theme with the site often have an element of Kink, Fetish, or BDSM to them.  Some exquisite Shibari rope bondage work has been featured, including one woman suspended with multiple ropes stretched out to resemble angels wings.  Some of the artists and models are truly majestic in their presentations.  However, mixed in with all the imagery are the journal articles, and lately there has been a theme.  A theme of utmost importance within not only the Fetish/BDSM Lifestyle but also among the Swinger and Poly Lifestyle.  This theme is consent.


Change is in the air

This post is going to be a little more Vanilla in nature, but it will be impacting this space here and the real-world space of Mrs. AbsinthePassion and I in a very monumental fashion sometime in the relatively near future.   As such, the news is hidden inside for those who care to look.