Pick and Choose?
As a follow-up to the conversation Mrs. AP and I had the other night, Mrs. AP asked me what kind of action / relationship / friendship … thing … for which I’m looking. Evidently my stare of confusion was quite audible even in the dark of our bedroom at night, because she rephrased the question, asking “Are you just looking for some boy bits to play with or are you looking for somebody more long term and permanent for a relationship.” I still needed clarification, however, so in response I asked “do you mean as just a playful swinger kind of thing or as a more poly boyfriend situation kind of distinction?”
“Yes, exactly; play for fun or long-term play?”
I mulled this over in my head some before answering slowly and deliberately “What I want right now is just playful fun with boy parts, for us to suck and fuck and get fucked. That’s what I’m craving. Sexy fun time with another guy or two.”
Truth be told — and that’s why I’m here, right? — that’s not the entirety of what I want. I don’t think it ever has been one or the other for me; it’s always been both.
As I’ve come to understand myself more over the past year — and I had plenty of time to think and ponder while stuck in hotel rooms and flitting about the country — I have embraced the fact that one of my strongest kinks is group sex, to the point where I really do think that “Group” should be part of my sexual orientation labeling, right alongside Bi, Queer, and Polyamorous. After every group session that Mrs. AP and I have enjoyed I’ve been revved up for days, ready to ravage her at a moment’s notice. There’s a sexual high that comes from having that other person there that lingers on and on for me. There’s also the fact that I enjoy bringing new people into our sexual realm; the freshness of a new body to explore is a well understood phenomenon in all ethical non-monogamy circles, I think.
So yes, right now I want a new pretty boy with pretty boy parts to kiss and lick and suck and fuck and have join us for all sorts of wonderful casual intense playful sexual activities. I want to watch Mrs. AP mount him and slide down his beautiful cock, her lips stretching to embrace him. I want to wrap my lips around his cock and feel him pulse against my tongue. I want to blow his mind.
I also want to have a guy around full-time someday. I want that special understanding that only comes from having a long-term live-in lover and partner. The best example of this I have is still the latest few books in the Anita Blake series by Laurell K. Hamilton, in which Anita has formed a very stable Triad with Nathaniel and Micah but still have several lovers (such as Jason, Domino, Sin, etc.) with whom she regularly plays, all while somehow still remaining open to sex with new people.
What I don’t want to do is treat it like “shopping”, wherein we’re specifically only looking for somebody long term and ignoring some wonderful short term potential right in front of us. That sounds too forced. I think our best approach is to go out, meet new people, find a sexy new bedroom friend (or two, or three, or four, or more) in whatever environment(s) are best for that, and let things develop naturally. Mrs. AP and I weren’t looking for new spouses when we first met; I was looking for discreet sex outside my dying marriage and she was looking for a boy to bring into hers. We both found the unexpected and are the better for it. We’ve proven it can work with us. I’ve no doubt we’ll be able to find somebody else the same way; when we’re not even trying.
Stay SINful, friends.