Advice For Aspiring Sex Bloggers
Hello there SINful friend! If you’re reading this posting you fall into one of a few relatively small categories: somebody who is a sex blogger, somebody who wants to be a sex blogger, or somebody who stumbled here accidentally through a cheeky inclusion by a rogue search engine. If you’re here because a search engine drove you astray, don’t worry, we don’t bite around here without expressed permission to do so. In fact, that’s one of the tenants of being a good member of the sex-positive community; always get expressed consent. Lots of bad things happen when you don’t, so it’s a good rule to live by. Please feel free to follow this post to the end while you’re here, and if you feel so inspired do explore further through additional posts. My archives to the right are organized chronologically; you can start with the first post or the most recent and read through them all, or just bounce around as you see fit. Whatever works for you.
If you’re one of my long-time friends (or even a new friend, to whom I say thank you for joining!) you will likely already know most of the advice I’m about to dispense. In fact, as I’m still a relative newcomer to this community, you likely know even more than I! Your comments are welcome as always to help expand upon my limited foundation.
Therefore, I turn to my final set, and the core audience for this posting; those who wish to start a sex blog. Writing a sex blog is easy, honestly. Anybody with a sexual thought and the ability to sign up for a WordPress or Blogger account can start one. Writing a good sex blog, however, requires a little more effort. To help ease the amount of effort required, I recommend the following:
- Read other sex blogs first. You found this one, obviously, which means you can find others. TO help with that, look to the right side of my page and find the SINful Blogroll. Every author contained therein writes well, and throughout the blogroll are scattered a variety of topic covered. I link to people who are swingers, who are polyamorous, who practice BDSM, who are spankos, who review sex toys, who offer sex advice, who recount their own sexual experiences, and everything in between. Many of them cross boundaries within their own blogs, much like I do here, which is perfectly fine. Each person defines one’s own sexuality and sexual experience, and a sex blog should be an extension of that. Which brings me to my next point.
- Write what you know. This may be as narrow or as broad an area as you wish. My writings here have covered Swinging, Polyamory, BDSM, LGBTQ issues, and more because those subjects are part of my sexual identity. Some of my favorite authors don’t touch on many of those subjects because those are not areas of daily concern. Swinging and Polyamory may overlap, but often don’t. Polyamory and BDSM overlap more often, but not with everybody. Sometime a blog only contains monogamous heterosexual behavior; that’s fine as well if that is the author’s experience.
- Write for yourself. Yes, your blog will gain an audience, but they will not be visiting your blog to read something they’ve already written or read elsewhere. Readers want to hear the author’s voice — your voice — expressed through word choice, rhythm, and tone. Nothing makes this come through more clearly than writing the post you want to read. Let your voice, your opinions, and your desires loose.
- Push your comfort zone. Writing about sex can be uncomfortable. It can also be freeing. Explore your boundaries and limits but also explore your fantasies and desires. There is growth and discovery available down that path if you have but the courage to follow it.
- Use proper spelling and grammar. I know this is just a general writing tip and not specific to sex blogs, but it warrants a mention nonetheless. Most modern browsers integrate a spell check function to help alleviate spelling errors, but they are not always perfect. Google exists for a reason, as does Dictionary.com. If you’re uncertain of the spelling or meaning of a word, look it up. You’re already on the internet anyway.
- Write when you don’t feel like writing. This is also a general writing tip that serves those of us in the sex blog community well. Popular authors of novels — authors like Steven King and Laurell K. Hamilton — have said many times over that the key to writing well is to write even when “not in the mood.” Often times simply starting a sentence or two will unlock the creative rush that allows an entire post to form. Some of the posts of which I’m most proud here have started from one simple little sliver of inspiration that came even when writing was the last thing I wished to do. Find some time in your schedule and use it.
- Have fun with it. Sex, writing about sex, writing about things related to sex, and thinking about sex while writing is all fun. If it wasn’t, why would so many people be having sex and writing about it? Play, be witty, crack jokes. Let that come through in the writing. We’re all here to have a good time together (yes, even some of us in “that way”) so make the act of writing just as much fun as the act of reading.
This is, of course, not all inclusive. My list of suggestions is not the end-all, be-all of advice for writing a sex blog. And yes, while my experience as a sex-blogger is currently limited to (including this post) 143 posts in six and one-half months, I have maintained other blogs in the past. Under different names I held a DiaryLand account for 2 years, after which I maintained a LiveJournal account for 4 years and a DreamWidth account (cross-posting to the LJ account) for another 2 years thereafter. Off and one I’ve held a web-diary, web-journal, web-log, or blog account for over 10 years. I keep coming back because I love to write, and reading other successful sex blogs inspired me to jump into this community. I’m incredibly proud of that decision and intend to never look back.
I hope my advice is useful, future sex blogger. If it is, and you do join us here, please let me know.
I look forward to what you’ll have me read.
Stay SINful, friends.