An Absinthe-Loving, Polyamorous, Kinky, Sex-Positive Couple talk about all things Sex, Kink, and LGBTQ.

Know That Wherever You Go

My heart will be with you.


Today I travel to Long Island, NY to work on a project for my client.  Since my consulting work is still a part-time gig, this means I’m still working my “day job” overnight.  The night before I catch the flight.  I will have 2 hours to shave, shower, and finish packing before leaving for the airport to catch my flight.  Yes, I will be cutting it close.  It’s a good thing I know how to work an airport.

While I’m looking forward to being able to do the hands-on IT work I love, this trip isn’t a “there and back again” day trip.  No, this time I stay until catching a flight home Friday evening.  I’ve handled overnight (and longer) trips for work before.  Back during my full time Corporate IT Support days I would often fly to Atlanta for 3 -4 days at a time, or go to NYC for 3 -4 days.  Every 2 – 3 months I would fly to the company HQ for 5 days.  I spent a week in Denver, a week in Salt Lake City, 3 days in Chicago, 2 days in Indianapolis, 3-4 days in Annapolis at a time, 3-4 days in D.C., and even a week out in San Jose.  Traveling with no notice for extended periods of time is nothing new to me.  What IS new, however, and what causes my internal conflict, is being away from Mrs. AP overnight.

In the 2 and a half years Mrs. AP and I have been together, we have never spent more than 18 hours apart.  We have always found a way to spend our sleeping time together, whether it’s by night or by day.  We both sleep better when we’re able to reach out and touch each other, and I know the quality of my sleep improved by many orders of magnitude when I started sleeping with her by my side.  Mrs. AP soothes me, even when I’m not consciously able to recognize her presence.  The few naps I’ve taken while she’s been out of the house have always been listless and broken; I wake feeling unsatisfied or like I hadn’t slept at all.

Above all other things, that is how I judge how deeply ingrained my need to be with Mrs. AP has become. This need springs from my incredible love for her, and is built upon the foundation of wanting to do all I can to make her life better.  I need to be the man she needs, the partner and husband and lover she yearns for not for my sake but for hers, and in confirming she’s okay I reach out even in my sleep to make sure she’s safe.  Even in my sleep I need to know she’s okay, and want to help make sure she’s not in need of anything.

How am I to sleep through a whole night or two without that inherent reassurance of her presence?  I know I will sleep, but it won’t be as well.  The entire time I’m gone I’ll still be reaching out, trying to make sure she can sense the firm grip she has on my heart.


This was a Wicked Wednesday post.  Visit the Wicked Wednesday page to see other participants.

Stay SINful, friends.

26 responses

  1. Sending big hugs your way, I hope you manage better than you expect, although I know that would be a difficult outcome in its own way.

    September 26, 2012 at 4:21 am

    • I managed well enough, but only by exhausting myself so that I had no choice but to succumb and sleep. Even then I still didn’t sleep nearly as well as I do at home.

      Stay SINful
      Mr. AP

      September 30, 2012 at 4:17 am

  2. Aww hoping your trip is shorter and gets you back into her arms as soon as possible.

    September 26, 2012 at 7:35 am

    • I almost made it shorter. I missed the flight I could have caught standby by less than 5 minutes.

      Stay SINful
      Mr. AP

      September 30, 2012 at 4:18 am

  3. Aw that’s very sweet. I remember when it was the same for us and sometimes it still is from time to time. But sometimes his snoring makes it hard! ;-P

    September 26, 2012 at 8:40 am

    • Heh. Mrs. AP and I take turns waking each other with snoring sometimes. Most times, though, we’re both too asleep to notice.

      Stay SINful
      Mr. AP

      September 30, 2012 at 4:18 am

  4. It is funny that both of us have written about very similar subjects today. We too are currently apart and I know exactly what you mean about sleeping. I find myself constantly waking up throughout the night my body clearly searching for the lost comfort. I hate it.


    September 26, 2012 at 9:32 am

    • No fun, no fun at all. We pull through, but damn is it bothersome.

      Stay SINful
      Mr. AP

      September 30, 2012 at 4:19 am

  5. Suck it up princess! J/K

    I have been forces to spend much time away from SM and it is never easy. Day 1 sucks as day 215 ( our longest separation) but it does become bearable. You have no choice but to endure, so you will endure – as will she. Besides, that first fuck after an absence is AWESOME.

    Mr. No Name

    September 26, 2012 at 11:44 am

    • I avoided military service as an adult deliberately to avoid the long separations. My father got deployed to Ankara for 15 months without the rest of us because I failed to get medical clearance for the relocation. The USAF shipped him out on Father’s Day. Oh the bitter irony.

      And yes, the first 2 times have been… intense. 😀

      Stay SINful
      Mr. AP

      September 30, 2012 at 4:20 am

  6. I know the feeling so very well: I cannot sleep without my Husband next to me. Oh yes, when we are apart, which thankfully happens very little, I do sleep, but restless. I need to be close to Him, need to be able to feel Him and I am very spoiled by falling asleep in His arms almost every night.

    I hope you have a nice trip and return to Mrs. AP safely!

    Rebel xox

    September 26, 2012 at 12:57 pm

    • Safe returns and decent nights had! Oh, how I wish she could have just come with me. Someday…

      Stay SINful
      Mr. AP

      September 30, 2012 at 4:21 am

  7. faerie

    Safe travels and a speedy return 🙂

    September 26, 2012 at 1:46 pm

    • Safely departed and safely returned! Thank you for the well wishes!

      Stay SINful
      Mr. AP

      September 30, 2012 at 4:22 am

  8. Emen

    Love the pic!

    And how tender you are. Except when you’re sucking cock. Man have I learned a lot about sucking cock from you. Is that off topic 🙂

    She’ll miss you too. And OMG when you get back…

    September 26, 2012 at 1:49 pm

    • Yes it is off topic! And, I’m told, I don’t lose my tenderness completely even then.

      Boy did we ever miss each other, and oh yes, the return. The return!

      Stay SINful
      Mr. AP

      September 30, 2012 at 4:23 am

  9. kjoy1019

    I know the feeling. Waking up in the middle of the night, reaching out and only feeling cold sheets. Great picture! I ❤ it.

    September 26, 2012 at 2:47 pm

    • Credit Mrs. AP the picture. She took and edited it, and, well…. 😀

      Stay SINful
      Mr. AP

      September 30, 2012 at 4:23 am

  10. Oh this is lovely. So romantic and expressed so well. Hope you’re home again soon!

    September 26, 2012 at 4:59 pm

    • My return was delayed by nearly 2 hours courtesy of a delayed flight, but home I came all the same.

      Stay SINful
      Mr. AP

      September 30, 2012 at 4:24 am

  11. Invisible heart strings.. 🙂 You are a great big stonking gem of a man..

    Pea ~x~

    September 27, 2012 at 8:41 am

    • They are not invisible; one needs only look at my sleeve. 🙂

      Stay SINful
      Mr. AP

      September 30, 2012 at 4:25 am

  12. First off, safe travels.

    Second, I must say that I envy you. That you and Mrs. AP have never spent more than 18 hours apart is remarkable. Jill and I love the intimacy and the general connection we foster even while lying asleep in the same bed. Having said that, however, we spent years living far apart from one another. We generally saw each other on the weekends, however; but before we were married (and for a year after we were married) we got very used to sleeping alone. It sucks, but we made the most of it.

    This is such a sweet post. The placement of the heart made us laugh.

    September 27, 2012 at 2:28 pm

    • Since I’ve moved in we’ve spent very little time apart. Before I moved in, we had about 3 weeks between the first date and my moving in. Before the first date we had about 5 weeks of messaging and chatting online. I guess technically that means we’ve spent time apart, right?

      The heart is courtesy of Mrs. AP. She likes showing me off without completely showing me off. 😉

      Stay SINful
      Mr. AP

      September 30, 2012 at 4:27 am

  13. My wife and I were like that. She would wake me to make sure I was breathing. We were married five years before we spent the night apart. Not counting, of course the nights I slept on the couch.

    September 30, 2012 at 12:53 am

    • I’ve had no nights on the couch, thankfully. I’ll fight and apologize and negotiate long before I’ll go sleep on the couch. I belong in bed with her, and her in bed with me. Every time.

      Stay SINful
      Mr. AP

      September 30, 2012 at 4:28 am

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