SINful friends, I had a different post entirely lined up for you today, in which I was going to issue my views on a subject that’s been running amok in the news and among bloggers everywhere the past few weeks. I had the first few paragraphs written, I had links lined up, and I was starting to get on a roll in my diatribe. It was becoming incendiary. My page views would have lit up, I’m sure, and many who would never find me otherwise would have stumbled here, likely to leave and never return. Halfway through the writing I realized that I couldn’t post it. It was too negative, too inciting, too destructive. It dawned on me in that moment that I cannot push such negativity forward. No, friends, I have a different responsibility here. In fact, I have several.
I have a responsibility to be positive, in words here and in actions elsewhere. Too long in my life has a negative view colored my vision. Too often have I spoken out with intention to harm and destroy instead of to uplift and create. I do not wish to do so any longer. It drains me to be negative, no matter the effort it takes to stop that reaction.
I have a responsibility to demonstrate for my children that life is a good thing, and that through helpful and positive actions one can make the world better. A smile is a powerful thing. So is a hug, or a handshake.
I have a responsibility to Mrs. AP to be strong and uplifting for her. When she is down, I am to be there to bring her up. When she is weak, I am there to shoulder her burdens. When she is sad, I am there to hold and comfort her.
I have a responsibility to be vulnerable with Mrs. AP, to let her in to my darkest corners and deepest recesses and let her see what even I fear to see for myself. I can turn to her for comfort, for release, for a chest into which I bury my head as I weep over things I’ve lost or emotions I cannot process. In her I have the ultimate safety net and confessional, in whom I can trust but will never abuse.
I have a responsibility to be honest, friends. Honest with myself, with Mrs. AP, with our family, our friends, and with you. I an carry myself tall and proud knowing that I hold myself accountable, even if nobody ever knows.
I could not in good faith write that negative piece. It would have been a violation of the changes I am trying to pursue. Ghandi said “Be the change you want to see in the world.”
I have the responsibility to change.
Stay SINful, friends.