An Absinthe-Loving, Polyamorous, Kinky, Sex-Positive Couple talk about all things Sex, Kink, and LGBTQ.

My Responsibility

SINful friends, I had a different post entirely lined up for you today, in which I was going to issue my views on a subject that’s been running amok in the news and among bloggers everywhere the past few weeks.  I had the first few paragraphs written, I had links lined up, and I was starting to get on a roll in my diatribe.  It was becoming incendiary.  My page views would have lit up, I’m sure, and many who would never find me otherwise would have stumbled here, likely to leave and never return.  Halfway through the writing I realized that I couldn’t post it.  It was too negative, too inciting, too destructive.  It dawned on me in that moment that I cannot push such negativity forward.  No, friends, I have a different responsibility here.  In fact, I have several.

I have a responsibility to be positive, in words here and in actions elsewhere.  Too long in my life has a negative view colored my vision.   Too often have  I spoken out with intention to harm and destroy instead of to uplift and create.  I do not wish to do so any longer.  It drains me to be negative, no matter the effort it takes to stop that reaction.

I have a responsibility to demonstrate for my children that life is a good thing, and that through helpful and positive actions one can make the world better.  A smile is a powerful thing.  So is a hug, or a handshake.

I have a responsibility to Mrs. AP to be strong and uplifting for her.  When she is down, I am to be there to bring her up.  When she is weak, I am there to shoulder her burdens.  When she is sad, I am there to hold and comfort her.

I have a responsibility to be vulnerable with Mrs. AP, to let her in to my darkest corners and deepest recesses and let her see what even I fear to see for myself.   I can turn to her for comfort, for release, for a chest into which I bury my head as I weep over things I’ve lost or emotions I cannot process.  In her I have the ultimate safety net and confessional, in whom I can trust but will never abuse.

I have a responsibility to be honest, friends.  Honest with myself, with Mrs. AP, with our family, our friends, and with you.   I an carry myself tall and proud knowing that I hold myself accountable, even if nobody ever knows.

I could not in good faith write that negative piece.  It would have been a violation of the changes I am trying to pursue.  Ghandi said “Be the change you want to see in the world.”

I have the responsibility to change.

 

Stay SINful, friends.

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9 responses

  1. Kat

    I think that the way to stated your obligation or responsibility to Mrs. AP was really sweet. I also really like your Ghandi quote. I am curious though as to what the subject was that got you so riled up.

    July 30, 2012 at 8:41 am

    • I guess I’m just a sweet guy! 🙂

      I love Ghandi and His Holiness The Dalai Lama. I wish more people in The States would pay attention to their teachings. There’s so much more compassion and responsibility present in their world views.

      I’m letting that other subject go. I’m doing my small part regarding it, but I’m not dedicating any more time to it. I have other things to do.

      Stay SINful
      Mr. AP

      July 30, 2012 at 8:17 pm

  2. I think we all have to shoulder some form of responsibility, whether this be children, work or i think most importantly ourselves, we live in a time it seems to me when everyone has an excuse, there is always someone or something else at fault and to blame, we want and expect quick fixes.

    When really sometimes we need to take a good long look at ourselves and take some responsibilty.

    July 30, 2012 at 8:58 am

    • Agreed. I’m trying to step up and OWN my responsibilities more. Changing my thinking to more positive and focused aspects is one small way to do so.

      Stay SINful
      Mr. AP

      July 30, 2012 at 8:18 pm

  3. I appreciate the idea of self-editing – I have gotten better at it, but sometimes I still let things slip through. Thre is power in maturity. Of course, this is your blog and you can write however you like. Even when you choose not to write it. (Or post it.) In this case, your reasoning seems sound, so I gather you made a good choice for you.

    July 30, 2012 at 10:17 am

    • I think it was. I could feel my anger level rising as I was writing the original idea, and I stopped myself and forced a change. There are plenty of other things to which my attention and energy can be focused right now.

      Stay SINful
      Mr. AP

      July 30, 2012 at 8:20 pm

  4. Many times I blog about things and don’t post it, but feels good just to get it down. Other times I look at things I posted and delete them later because I wish I would of never posted them.

    July 30, 2012 at 11:38 pm

    • I hope to never take down anything I post here. I seldom make any edits unless I blatantly missed or mis-typed something. Part of the therapeutic effect for me is keeping what I say open and honest; I feel like if I change or remove something I’m giving myself permission to hide. I don’t want that.

      Stay SINful
      Mr. AP

      July 31, 2012 at 2:28 am

      • I have ADHD and many types I speak before I think! lol

        August 1, 2012 at 12:22 am

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