An Absinthe-Loving, Polyamorous, Kinky, Sex-Positive Couple talk about all things Sex, Kink, and LGBTQ.

Dressing the Part

When it comes to any event, it’s always best to dress in accordance with the accepted norms for the event.  Just as one would not wear a bikini to a formal event or vice versa, one should be mindful of the proper attire when visiting a place like Eyz Wide Shut.   While EWS is a Swinger’s Club and the idea is to “dress to impress”, everybody has a different idea of just what exactly that entails.  EWS attempts to make this easier for attendees by laying out a dress code that is, I expect, very similar to other similar establishments.  As they outline in their Dress Code portion of the FAQ, men and women should wear as follows:


  • Business Casual
  • Sexy Dresses
  • Stylish Jeans
  • Dress Pants
  • Heels, Sandals, or Dress Shoes


  • Business Casual
  • Collar / Tailored Shirts or Pullovers
  • Stylish Jeans
  • Dress Pants
  • Dress Shoes

This all sounds simple, right?  It’s general Club Attire, designed to catch the eye and let others know how ready to play one might be.  But what if your idea of Club Attire is different from the norm?  What if the only club you’ve ever frequented, in fact the only club where you’ve ever felt a sense of belonging, has a different sort of dress code?  What then?

The only club I have ever attended, and the only club where Mrs. AP has ever felt comfortable and able to call “hers”, is The Castle in Ybor, FL.  The Castle is first and foremost a Goth Club.  The design is Goth, the drinks are Goth inspired, and the music is Goth / Industrial / New Wave.  it is also the usual afterparty venue for events like FetishCon.  The dress code there is very non-normative.  Some club goers where next to nothing; these people are documented well in both The Castle’s Photo Albums and the Castle Albums for Drunk Camera Guy.  What does this mean for us?

Well, as an idea, the typical outfit Mrs. AP wears to The Castle includes a very tight steel-bone corset or cincher, a mesh top, very short skirt, fishnet stockings, a spiked belt, spiked collar, spiked bracelets, and platform knee high vinyl or leather heels.  As an example of a similar outfit, I present the following (photo courtesy Drunk Camera Guy, original found here:

The first time I saw that picture I had to take a long second look, as I really did think I was seeing Mrs. AP.  That’s not the exact skirt she has, but it’s very close.  Also, and more importantly, Mrs. AP has a nicer ass.

My point being, though, is that what Mrs. AP and I consider Club Attire doesn’t mesh with the mainstream world, even in the Swinger environment.  What we would normally wear to feel confident and sexy is not conducive to a Sexy Good Time where clothes can come off quickly.  As I detailed in my post for our visit to Eyz Wide Shut, we had to go shopping first just to put together as outfit that would work for the environment.  We still stood out a bit, but not quite as badly as we would have in our normal clubwear.  It’s an odd thing, really, to be so accustomed to the Goth, Fetish, and BDSM environments that dressing for a Swinger Club feels like “Going Vanilla”.

Dressing to feel comfortable and confident is key, but in the end, we all just want to fit in.


Stay SINful, friends.

3 responses

  1. FreakyV

    Since I am on my phone it is too time consuming to follow the links, I will have to do that later. The dress code for EWS sounds very boring!! I have only done two Swinger events as you know and one was the campin event. I was worried about dress code because as a newbie you hate to turn people off. BUT I didn’t want t wear something that didn’t feel good. I heard tat corsets are he standard for the clubs around here. With my body shape, that is not something I care to wear. I don’t mind standing out as the one who will dress different as long as I am getting good attention. On the camping trip I didn’t wear much clothes if any on my side of the camp. Our side was small and we were all people who weren’t in a clique. When I walked to the bathroom I would throw on bottoms as I did feel a little uncomfy, BUT it wasn’t a huge worry to me. I do know as I meet more and more people I will dress as I please. I’m 43 and I have no desire to do follow the group and never really have. I normally have the personality that allows me to fit in with a wide variety of individuals. My personality is what I have to showcase, my body id not the best, my clothes aren’t the sexiest but I have a dertermination to have fun and make sure others around me have a good time too.

    June 27, 2012 at 1:28 pm

  2. FreakyV

    Ugh, my phone won’t allow me to finish the previous comment.

    But I did stress about dress and wrote about it on my blog. But I do need to realize that my personality does draw in people. I had lots of attention at this last event and another woman who was a newbie also told me that my personality put others at ease and that I seemed to be very confident in my self. No manner how I feel aout my body and the way I dress, I know that feeling confident regardless is going to help me fit in. Now if I can rub that off on Swinger!!! Lol I swear he is the most confident person I know UNTIL we are at a swingers event!

    June 27, 2012 at 1:34 pm

  3. I am finding that the dress code at Miami velvet is getting considerably more lax. A while ago, we saw a guy in jeans, sneakers and a hoodie. Last Saturday there were so many new couples who did not know how racy the ladies dress that it felt like a vanilla club.

    June 27, 2012 at 10:31 pm

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