An Absinthe-Loving, Polyamorous, Kinky, Sex-Positive Couple talk about all things Sex, Kink, and LGBTQ.

When Size Does Matter

Ask nearly every male who is sexually active — or who wishes he were — what his primary concern is relating to sexual performance and his answer will relate to the size of the package in his pants.   In a 2006 survey by UCLA, 66% of men thought themselves to be of average length (girth was not measured) and 45% of wished they were (as Tom Hanks once said) bigger.  Conversely, 85% of women respondents reported there respective partners parts were average or large and were quite happy with the state of things.  This tells us that we men worry about the size of our wee men more than our female counterparts do, but it doesn’t answer the question most men are asking at this point: What exactly IS the average size?

Performing a Google search for average penis size renders a result of 3,440,000 results.  Clearly this is a well-documented subject right?  Wrong.  As it turns out, very little genuinely scientific data exists regarding this subject.  Not even WebMD can link to a valid survey.  The only site I’ve found that includes links to properly performed and validated data is Mr. Average, who goes at great lengths to provide as conclusive data as we can get, which really isn’t THAT conclusive.  In short, a survey of 401 volunteers was performed in Cancun during spring break one year, of which 300 were able to obtain and maintain an erection long enough to be measured independently by two separate nurses, who were supervised by doctors.  All of this was sponsored by Lifestyle Condoms, and the is to date the largest survey conducted that does not rely on self reporting.

For measuring, the ruler was placed along the top of the penis, with measurements taken from the base of the penis where it meets the pubic mound to the tip of the head.  Secondary measurements for girth were taken around the middle of the shaft, measured the same way we would measure waist size (that is to say, circumference, not diameter).  Measured lengths varied from 3.5 inches to 9 inches, but both extremes ere under .2 percent.  Widths varied from under 3 inches to 6.75 inches.  Surprisingly, 3% of those surveyed fell under 3 inches in girth, whereas the big boys over 6.5 inches around comprised only .1%

Yes yes, you say, this is all oddly fascinating, but what’s the average?  To give hard numbers (chuckle), the average erect penis — can I say hard cock? — is 5.88 inches long and 4.97 inches around.  But even that number is skewed slightly by the data gathered.  To hit the median point — that spot dead in the middle where there’s exactly one half of the population on either side of the measurements — the numbers shift to 5.65 inches long and 4.67 inches in girth.

Feeling better about yourself already, aren’t you?

Anybody who’s been around a group of excited naked people has seen this for themselves.  While all men vary by some degree, the majority fall between 5.5 to 6.3 inches long with girths between 4.53 and 5.12 inches.  Finding the Hung Cock that legitimately measures over 7 inches long isn’t incredibly rare, but isn’t common either.  The Monster Cock that measures over 8 inches long, well, they appear about as often as a coelacanth or giant squid.  Well, except in porn, but I suspect that’s an alternate universe slowly merging with our own.

In terms of practical play, however, Mrs. AP and I have found that we both prefer a man who’s packing more on the thick side.  Yes, this means there are some sore jaws and some stretching going on, but there’s a feeling of solid fullness that just doesn’t come from a pencil dick.  Not that we’ll refuse to play with somebody who’s a little thinner; if we find we like you well enough to invite you to play than being of ample proportions is merely icing on the already delicious cake.  Also, too thick means the likelihood of Mrs. AP taking him up her backside diminishes quickly.  I’m the perfect width for her vaginally and we need a good bit of prep before I can enter her heavenly backdoor, and I’m nowhere near large enough to be staring in porn anytime soon.

As for the guys who claim to be 9 inches long, just think of some other common items that are 9 inches long.  The iPad is 9.5 inches tall.  The 20 ounce bottle of Aquafina is just over 8.5 inches long.  And the Chiquita Banana?  6 to 10 inches long.  The next time you’re looking at a guys profile and he claims he’s 9 inches long, have him break out a bottle of Aquafina and compare.  You might both be surprised what you find.

In the end, we’re almost all nearly average but our lady partners love us all the same, and that’s what matters most.

Stay SINful, friends.

4 responses

  1. I have a date with a measuring tape.

    June 20, 2012 at 6:58 pm

  2. naughtytashamber

    Size has never really mattered much to me. Most of the guys I have been with have been about the same size, about average. There was the exception with D, who was huge, and Toby who was the smallest I have ever seen.

    June 22, 2012 at 7:04 am

  3. Pingback: T.M.I. Tuesday – Then and Now « AbSINthePassion

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