Bi-Curious Doesn’t Exist
I have a bone to pick with every person out there on dating sites, swinger sites, BDSM sites, Adult Sites, and every other site in which one or more people are looking to find somebody sitting within a particular category or another of sexual or gender identity. For years, this term Bi-Curious has been available as an option, as if to indicate that a person is uncertain about one’s own proclivities until experience has been gained. This is the underlying concept with which I disagree, and the more I think about it, the stronger that disagreement becomes.
The whole concept behind Bi-Curious is that one does not “Really Know” if one likes members of the same sex until one has attempted some sort of sexual interaction. This concept is bullshit. Complete, utter, inane, homophobic bullshit.
You may be thinking, “but that can’t be bullshit! How can you really know until you try it?” You want to know how? You really need me to tell you how the label of Bi-Curious is an stinking pile of logical fallacy?
The answer is very simply found in comparison to the extremely-heteronormative culture that has conveniently decided what terms are safe for consumption; when has there ever been somebody claiming to be Straight-Curious? Or, for that matter, when has anybody been called Gay-Curious? Why is the requirement that only with experience can the Curious portion of the label be dropped applied only to those who identify as Bi?
I don’ care if you’re Bi, Gay, Straight, Queer, Pan, Flexible, or anywhere else on the very fluid and dynamic scale of human sexuality; when you develop an attraction for somebody, you know that attraction exists before the first sexual experience with that person. Hell, you know before the first kiss, even before the first time you hold hands. Your pulse quickens, your temperature rises, and your thoughts are flooded with the preoccupation with that person. There is no curiosity about the attraction at that point, only about the many wonderful ways that attraction can be explored. If you’re a guy who has experience with women but is also drawn to men and wonders how a cock in the mouth feels, you are not Bi-Curious but are Bisexual without experience. You are no more curious about your sexual attraction than the straight girl who’s never dated or fooled around; both of you want experience with a guy, you just don’t have it yet.
Yes, the term Bisexual must be used more broadly in this sense. I embrace and encourage that shift. I am tired of reading and watching and hearing an entire subset of the LGBTQ community belittled and ostracized over lack of experience. Bi people generally have a difficult enough time as it is dealing both with straight and gay friends and/or lovers trying to force a choice one way or the other, insisting it’s just a passing phase, or immediately jumping on the “now we can have a threesome” bandwagon. None of the approached show any respect for the person struggling with understanding these feelings.
Bisexuality is an attraction to members of both males and females. No lack of experience either way changes that.
Stay SINful, friends.