An Absinthe-Loving, Polyamorous, Kinky, Sex-Positive Couple talk about all things Sex, Kink, and LGBTQ.

Shifting Gears

I may have mentioned this before, but one of the things I love and hold very dear about Mrs. AbsinthePassion is how well she not only communicates with me but also insists I communicate with her.  I know she gets frustrated with me sometimes on how untimely I become in forgetting how to be a good communicator, but she bears with me patiently nonetheless so that we can work through whatever issue is at hand.

Last night that came into play again.  After a conversation with one of our friends, Mrs. AP stumbled upon a bit of a revelation; she has massive stress attacks when considering our next visit to Eyz Wide Shut, and not for the reasons she first thought.  We thought at first that the issue was the lack of quality single men (and anybody, really) during our first visit.  We tried to chalk that up to having gone on a Thursday, which is a notoriously slow night for any swinging establishment, we know.  My work schedule only allows us time out of the house together on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday evenings, though, so we know any chance of making it out on a Saturday are rather nonexistent, and the pricing on Thursday nights, for a trial run, was more than reasonable.  As a first time, we thought we could make something good of it, and we did.

Turns out, questionable quality of other members aside, Mrs. AP’s issue stems from something more internal than external.  When she got to thinking on what really turns her on, and how her fantasies for threesomes, foursomes, and moresomes coalesce in her mind, there has been one recurring theme that she hadn’t realized; every time she gets hot and bothered by other people joining us, it’s in the framework of an existing relationship.  This could be a romantic relationship, it could be a long and close friendship, or somewhere in between, but every single one of her erotic dreams and fantasies includes that element.

Swinging in a club environment, or even trying to find somebody through Craigslist for a one-off, lacks that framework of intimacy, trust, and support that Mrs. AP really needs to relax enough to truly enjoy herself.  The level of stress just builds too high, and it knocks everything off kilter.  Not alot, mind you; once she starts getting into things the primal responses can take over, but something about it just doesn’t sit right with her quite yet.

With that in mind, we are changing our tactics a bit.   To better fit within the framework of good, close friends and established relationships we are going to work on establishing more local connections within the Poly and Kinky communities.  If we start gong to whatever local events we can, network through the various social sites, and work on building positive, healthy relationships with new people while strengthening those we’ve led languish, we think we stand a better chance of meeting all of our relationship and kinky needs while still having some “swinger-esque” adventures now and again.

I’m looking forward to seeing how this turns out.  Any adventure with Mrs. AP by my side is sure to be a good one.


Stay SINful, friends.

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