An Absinthe-Loving, Polyamorous, Kinky, Sex-Positive Couple talk about all things Sex, Kink, and LGBTQ.


Embracing the Other

Earlier this year, a young white male sat inside a church in Charleston, South Carolina, USA and waited for whatever moment he considered to be perfect before revealing multiple firearms and shooting at members of the church.  9 were dead and many more injured by the time his rampage was complete.

Earlier this year, members of ISIL/ISIS were videotaped binding gay couples and throwing them from the tops of buildings.

Earlier this year, Buddhist monks in Burma lead a movement of oppressive laws and physical attacks against both women and against Muslims.

Earlier this year, LGBTQ families across the United States were threatened (and many attacked) when the U.S. Supreme Court declared that same sex marriage is an equal right.

Earlier this month, a Moroccan actress was attacked after starring in a film about the exploitation of sex workers in Marrakech.

Earlier this week, students at The University of Missouri in Columbia, Missouri, USA were threatened with bombs and guns for having the bravery to stand up to racist slurs and threats.

Earlier this week, suicide bombers kills dozens of people in Beirut.

Yesterday, attacks in Paris killed hundreds.

I could go on, but the patterns, the trends, they repeat into perpetuity.  Across the world people separate themselves — Christian vs non-Christian, Catholic vs Protestant, Shi’a vs Sunni, Shinto vs Taoist, Israeli vs Palestinian, Black vs White, American vs Mexican, British vs Irish, Straight vs Gay, Men vs Women, Police vs Civilians, etc. — using labels that enable one group to define any other convenient group as The Other.  The Other is dangerous!  The Other is to be feared!  The Other must be fought!  The Other seeks to take our land, our women, our jobs, our freedom!  The Other must be made to go away!  Protect us from The Other!

Why are we so quick to define and then retreat from The Other?  In the United States, why the ever increasing rhetoric to fear people from across the wrong border, or people who use a different house of worship, or people who love differently?  In the world writ large, why the ever increasing fear of those fleeing from violence, those crossing borders in hopes of living, those who wish only to live in peace?  Why the fear of women being seen as equals, or LGBTQ+ people being treated with genuine respect and honor?  Why the fear, disgust, intolerance, and even outright hatred of The Other?

Living with The Other requires stepping outside a pre-established comfortable space, in which The One is not challenged by foreign ideas.  The One has a manufactured reality; normality is fabricated, molded, shaped into something that most resembles The One.  The One may be in comfort, communing with others who resemble The One in body type, skin color, religious or philosophical ideals, leisure activities, and cultural representations.  The One does not have to question if reality outside the small space occupied by The One differs from the reality The One has built, for the outside does not impugn nor encroach upon The One.  The One is secure.

Introducing The Other into the comfortable space of The One dissolves that reality.  The Other does not conform to the expectations around which The One has built daily life, and The One, often as a result of this self constructed minimized reality, lacks the coping ability to recognize The Other as being a valid part of reality.  While from the perspective of The Other the constructed reality of The One is limited and minimal and could use a refreshing expansion, from the perspective of The One the arrival of The Other signifies destruction and rejection of all that The One has built.  The Other sees expansion and inclusion, whereas The One sees conflict and restriction.  Lacking the foundation upon which expansion can be built, The One lashes out.

This lashing may be verbal.  It may be subtle, in the introduction of policies, regulations, or laws that prevent the acceptance of The Other, thus forcing The Other back away from the falsely maintained reality of The One.  Should — nay, when — The Other refuses to regress, The One responds with more fervor.  Regulations become threats.  Threats become violence.  Violence becomes murder.  Not always, but often, for The One is accustomed to being heard and followed, and does not understand why The Other does not comply.

What I hope — indeed, for what we should all hope — is that we will learn how to stop being The One and recognize that we are all The Other.  In this world of ever-growing connectedness, let us learn how to become connecting.  Let us, instead of fearing and rejecting The Other, open ourselves to learning and adapting and expanding.  We can learn from The Other.  We, as The Other, can teach.  We can be examples.  We can embrace.

Do not reject The One, nor reject The Other.  Destroy the limitations, yes, but only to build bigger and better through expansion.  Reject fear and vitriol, and do not tolerate the spread of things based on hate, but act with love.  Act with kindness and openness and respect.  Demonstrate compassion.

Start with an embrace.

Stay SINful, friends.

Consent: Not actually that complicated

Mr. AbsinthePassion:

This is brilliant!

Originally posted on rockstar dinosaur pirate princess:

A short one today as my life is currently very complicated and conspiring against my preference to spend all of my days working out what to blog. But do you know what isn’t complicated?


It’s been much discussed recently; what with college campuses bringing in Affirmative Consent rules, and with the film of the book that managed to make lack of consent look sexy raking it in at the box office. You may not know this, but in the UK we more or less have something similar to ‘affirmative consent’ already. It’s how Ched Evans was convicted while his co-defendant was not – and is along the lines of whether the defendant had a reasonable belief that the alleged victim consented. From the court documents it appears that while the jury felt that it was reasonable to believe that the victim had consented to intercourse with the co-defendant, it…

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as I slowly awaken

senses coming back online

through the fog of deep slumber

my body fails to comprehend

why is it so dark


are my wrists bound



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Ride the Pain Away

I came home from work with one of the most debilitating migraines I’ve had in ages. I fought through traffic and held it at bay, but by the time I walked up the stairs and through the front door Mrs. AP was able take one look at me and firmly say “I love you, go lay down in the dark.” Knowing better than to ever argue with her when she uses her Domme voice, I kissed her and made my room to comply. As I lay there trying to hide all light and sound from obliterating me into millions of pieces Mrs. AP came in and softly asked how I could help. My whimpers must have translated into something because she left the room to come back a few minutes later with Excedrin and a cold coffee blend of the various pre-made flavored coffees we keep in the fridge. She disappeared again, leaving me in silence.

On her next return she came bearing food; perfect wife that she is, she made dinner and handled the kids while I lay in the room trying not to feel like death had become me. Dutifully I ate, thankful for the mix of spices and savory elements she combined to hit every flavor element I so love. Once I finished eating I lay the plate back down and rested, eyes closed, hoping for relief.

When Mrs. AP came back in she asked if there was anything else she could do to help. I whimpered some more, to which she responded by laying next to me and cradling me, caressing my head and letting her hand wander further down my body. As she slipped a hand inside my pants she asked if there was *anything* she could do to help, and my cock rose in response. Feeling how eager my cock was to greet her Mrs. AP whispered mischievously “feels like I know just the thing.” She got up to lock the door, stripping as she rose, and in my pained stupor I somehow managed to strip so that by the time she turned around I was ready, waiting for her.

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